Be sure you know of certain things to avoid saying to a new friend so you don’t ruin the relationship before it gets started. Sometimes, not knowing someone well can cause us to say things that turn them away, offend them, or can be a little too overbearing as a new friend. New friends are some of the best gifts we ever receive in life, so to keep them around as a best friend, be sure you know what things to avoid saying to a new friend. Doing so can help you establish long lasting friendships for years to come!
1. Anything Negative about Their Weight
No matter what, one of the very first things to avoid saying to a new friend is something negative about their weight. Even if you don’t mean it in a rude way, commenting on how curvy they are, how big their jeans are, how you wish they were “bigger” like them, how much weight they need to lose, etc. You wouldn’t believe some of the negative things like this I’ve had new friends say, when they thought it was a harmless comment. Never discuss weight with your new friend in a negative way, even about your own body. It can make them critical of you, and themselves more when you do.
2. Negative Things about Their Family
You know that saying, “I can talk about my family, but you can’t.” That’s a very true statement. Even if your new friend talks about how bad their brother or granny gets on their nerves, you shouldn’t. Support them and tell them how great they are and you wish you could help them feel differently about their family, but do not criticize their family with them. First of all, it’s not your place, and secondly, your friend probably won’t like you for it.
3. You Think Their Boyfriend is Cute
No matter if your new friend has the cutest boyfriend on the planet, she does not want to hear it from you, or any other woman. Talk about an easy way to start a cat fight! Even grown women don’t like hearing other women comment on how cute their man is. It’s a completely normal thing, even for the most secure women, so avoid it however possible.
4. Anything Negative about Their Looks
Even if you think your new best friend could use a new hairstyle, wardrobe, or use to lose or gain a few pounds, do not tell them that! Friends are for supporting each other as we are. While you can be a positive influence for them, do not try to dictate their looks, or their health habits. They most certainly will not appreciate you for it, I promise.
5. Your Deepest Darkest Secret
One other thing to avoid telling a new friend is your deepest, darkest secret. While it’s fine to tell best friends you’ve had for a while this, be careful when trusting a new friend with this information. For starters, you don’t truly know them well enough to trust them that much yet, and secondly, they don’t know you well enough to really trust you that much either. When telling them such a deep dark secret, you risk not only their judgement, but also risk your secrecy. Even if you think they’re the greatest person in the world, hold out on this until you’ve been friends a while.
6. Mothering Them
Whatever you do, don’t say anything to your friend that sounds like something their mother would say. For instance, “ You need to get a better job,” or “You need to date someone better for you,” or, “You need to brighten up your wardrobe dear!” Friends don’t want to hear something their mother probably tells them, and especially new friends!
7. Money Related Topics
Lastly, it’s so important not to talk about money with your new friend in a personal way. Don’t pry into their financial life, which is a personal issue. Be careful when talking to your friend about money issues anyway, but especially about their personal finances.
If you have a new friend, what is one thing you choose not to say to them? Or, if you’ve got a large number of best friends, what are some things you avoided telling them at the beginning of your friendship?