Being an adult kind of sucks. It's nothing like what you expect before you're an adult. Eating cereal for dinner is pretty awesome, sure, but what you don't realize when you're waiting to grow up is that being independent is sort of terrible. Some of us just aren't cut out to live an adult life. Some of us are going to basically be grown up kids for the rest of our lives. Are you one of them? Well, I dunno, are you?
Table of contents:
- you put off making appointments because you hate talking to people on the phone
- going to bed early is beyond you
- so is getting up early
- you're always slightly amazed when the trash doesn't magic itself out
- you find out the laundry fairy sucks, too
- you'll happily eat cereal three times a day
- two days after payday, you're broke as a joke again
- wine is your answer to every problem
- secretly, you still always want to call your mom or dad
- … and maybe you secretly do it more than you admit
- you find yourself messing up the simplest tasks
- your idea of cooking isn't like anyone else's
- you spend a lot of time avoiding any kind of responsibility
- you spend more time making excuses not to do things than you spend doing things
- buying vegetables makes you feel grown up
- you've eaten cereal with a fork because all the spoons were dirty
- you're reading this list instead of doing what you're supposed to be doing
1 You Put off Making Appointments Because You Hate Talking to People on the Phone
Especially if you have to talk to anyone at the doctor's office. Lyndsie hates making appointments for anything, so I'm the designated appointment-maker in the house.
2 Going to Bed Early is beyond You
It's just impossible. One second it's 10:00 PM and you're all set to go to bed and get at least eight hours of healthy, restful sleep. Next thing you know, it's three in the morning and you don't understand your life choices.
3 So is Getting up Early
But that's understandable. You never get to bed before sunrise.
4 You're Always Slightly Amazed when the Trash Doesn't Magic Itself out
Why isn't there an app for this? Why is the Trash Fairy slipping? Secret: my house has a Soda Can Fairy. (Secret: it's just Lyndsie.)
5 You Find out the Laundry Fairy Sucks, Too
If you run out of clean underwear and either have to go commando or wear a swimsuit, you might not be ready to adult yet.
6 You'll Happily Eat Cereal Three Times a Day
It's part of a balanced breakfast, right? It can be part of a balanced lunch and dinner, too.
7 Two Days after Payday, You're Broke as a Joke Again
Where does all the money go? You probably keep promising yourself you'll make a budget, too, huh? So do I.
8 Wine is Your Answer to Every Problem
Have a toothache? Wine. The roof starts leaking? Wine. Boyfriend cheats? Wine. It's like Windex – a panacea.
9 Secretly, You Still Always Want to Call Your Mom or Dad
All the time. The wife, too. No shame. We don't, but we always want to.
10 … and Maybe You Secretly do It More than You Admit
Hey. No judgment here.
11 You Find Yourself Messing up the Simplest Tasks
Like you'll overload your washing machine and make it leak all over the place, put the wrong kind of soap in the dishwasher, or leave the water hose on so it eventually busts open and drenches everything. Stuff like that.
12 Your Idea of Cooking Isn't like Anyone else's
Maybe you're bad at it. Maybe you're super bad at it. Maybe you just don't know how. Maybe you absolutely hate it. Whatever the case, attempts to cook usually end badly.
13 You Spend a Lot of Time Avoiding Any Kind of Responsibility
It scares you. It's like a monster creeping up on you.
14 You Spend More Time Making Excuses Not to do Things than You Spend Doing Things
You have an excuse at the ready for almost everything – when your coworker asks you to switch a shift, when a friend invites you to a party, and when someone asks you to do anything before noon on a Saturday.
15 Buying Vegetables Makes You Feel Grown up
Sometimes, it's all about the small things. But seriously, vegetables are responsible.
16 You've Eaten Cereal with a Fork Because All the Spoons Were Dirty
And you just don't wanna wash one. Not only are you not ready to adult, but you are lazy and also somewhat brilliant.
17 You're Reading This List Instead of Doing What You're Supposed to Be Doing
And I thank you for it. Happens to the best of us!
Tell the truth. Are you really, truly ready to be an adult?
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