I am an old millennial and I am scared by some things. This generation gets so much flak about participation awards and entitlement and laziness and blah, blah, blah, but I see so many people from this generation and the next one who are so aware, so involved, and so passionate about their quest to make the world a better place. So many of us are absolutely fearless beneath all the stereotypes. Still, even the most fearless millennials are terrified by a few things … a few very special, very millennial things.
1 Moving Back in with Their Parents for Any Length of Time
You tell everybody that it's just for a little while, just until you find a job, just until you get back on your feet, but you secretly fear that as soon as you return to your old childhood room, you'll be stuck there forever.
2 Answering a Call from an Unknown Number
It could be ANYBODY, but it's probably a debt collector … and honestly, that's even worse because debt collectors are terrible.
3 Accidentally Hitting “reply All” on a Response Only Meant for One Person
This is my nightmare, to the point where I obsessively check any emails where I'm talking smack.
4 Leaving a Voicemail
Talking to a machine is somehow more anxiety-inducing than talking to a real person and I don't understand it.
5 Or Having to Listen to One
To everyone who still leaves actual messages: just give me the bullets because I'm going to stop listening after ten seconds (unless you're a debt collector, and then I'm just going to delete it in a fit of terror and nerves).
6 Liking a 6-month-old Insta Photo when You're Creeping
UNCLICK, DISLIKE, NO HEARTS, NO!
7 Getting Included in a Group Test without Your Permission
All the notifications, all the pointless small talk, all the joy of being held hostage by people you thought were your friends.
8 Making Appointments Themselves
Appointments with the doctor, the dentist, the ophthalmologist … why is it so unnerving and scary and horrible?
9 Talking to Anyone on the Phone, Honestly
Talking on the phone is never fun and it is always awful.
10 Student Loan Debt
Student loan debt is terrifying and you are right to be afraid of it.
11 Leaving Their Phone Somewhere Other than Where They Are at That Moment
Tbh, I have a miniature breakdown when I go to the bathroom and leave my phone in the living room because what am I supposed to do, read the back of the shampoo bottle?
12 The Horror of a Dead Battery
I am not even ashamed of how much I need my phone to live, sorry 'bout it.
13 Going to the Post Office
I don't know why we hate this so much, but everyone I know has issues with going to the mailbox and mailing packages, which tells me that the post office needs drones, please.
14 A Complete and Utter Lack of Wifi
Say what you will, but this is legitimately scary.
15 Getting a Job to Get Experience when Every Job Requires Experience before They Hire You
WHAT MANNER OF FOUL SORCERY IS THIS?!
16 Accidentally Leaving Their Read Receipts on
Unless the millennial in question is feeling petty, in which case this is perfectly acceptable.
17 Picking a Major
Because the odds are good that by the time you graduate, you won't be able to get a job in that field anyway.
My fellow millennials, young and old, what scares you the most?