How to build confidence? As women, the question of self-esteem is one that weaves itself in to the fibers of our lives from a very young age and only grows in importance as we do. From career, to relationships, to body image and personal achievements, the truth is that the level we believe in ourselves and the effort we put toward building confidence affects every aspect of who we are, how we live and what we accomplish. With that in mind, here are 8 invaluable tips for learning to build confidence.
1. Fake It until It Fits
While it may sound counter-intuitive, behaving consistently with self-assurance, even when you may not necessarily feel it, is one of the most defining ways to build confidence. Expressing an air of esteem in your words, thoughts and body language, even if it is essentially acting, establishes the behavioral patters that eventually become natural habit, instinctively building confidence. A bright smile, good posture, even a little swagger can go a long way... your heart and mind will follow your lead.
2. Clean up Your Self-Talk
If you are interested in building confidence, you need to consider the detrimental effects of negative self-talk. As women, we can be truly ruthless against ourselves, criticizing everything from the way we look to our performance at work to the dynamics of our relationships. This type of thinking is not only unproductive, it’s incredibly damaging to our self-esteem. Moving forward, focus on how to develop confidence using self-talk in a healthy, dynamic way - while it is important to hold ourselves accountable, the key is to frame your thoughts positively and encourage yourself with love. Step one? Telling your own worst critic that she is so fired.
3. Focus on Your Fans
When learning how to build confidence do not underestimate the power of surrounding yourself with positive influences. Whether family members, friends, romantic partners or co-workers, your fans are the people who love, cherish and appreciate your many amazing qualities - an invaluable resource in the process of developing and maintaining your positive self-image. Connect with your fan base to draw from their positive impressions of you and to remind yourself of all the important relationships in your life worthy of your self-assurance. As like attracts like, the more you grow your own esteem, the more you will attract equally wonderful people to share your happiness with.
4. List Your Achievements
Through the highs and lows of life we can easily lose track of how far we have come and all that we have accomplished on our journey. As you continue developing confidence, take time to reflect on the many challenges you have overcome, and the many beautiful achievements you have earned throughout the years. Have you experienced success in your career? Are you raising a family? Have you taken on a fitness challenge or mastered the art of cooking? Make your list today - each success is a step toward building confidence and it will likely surprise you how much you have truly achieved. Not to mention, re-discovering how fabulous you are never gets old.
5. Play to Your Strengths
Knowing how to build confidence comes in large part from knowing your own strengths. Are you extremely outgoing? Do you have a great sense of humor? Having a clear understanding of the personal attributes that enable and empower your success gives you an opportunity to play to your strong side and more easily manage your weaknesses. None of us can be all things to all people, instead focus your efforts on connecting with situations in a way that flatters you and you will naturally feel more confident in each interaction.
6. Try New Things
Exploring life outside your comfort zone is hugely beneficial when building confidence. While engaging the same activities every day can have a stagnant effect on our self-esteem, learning or trying something new offers the opposite advantages, revving our creativity, increasing our sense of purpose and promoting a feeling of pride in our efforts. If you are determining how to build confidence, try taking on a fresh challenge beyond your usual routine - learn that second language, explore the local museum or train for your first marathon... each dynamic experience, with its own challenges and achievements, will serve to enhance your feelings of self-assurance.
7. Redefine Your Failures
How to build confidence? Redefine what it means to fail. So often, people look at the trials in their lives with harsh judgement, painfully labeling their struggles as mistakes, inadequacies and downfalls. Though it is natural to reflect on some experiences with disappointment or regret, in order to continue developing confidence, try looking at past and present errors with a new perspective - focus on what your life lessons have taught you, how much you have grown through the process of learning, and how happy you are to have overcome that obstacle. As Winston Churchill once said, «Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.»
8. Know Your Worth
Ladies, here is an equation we all need to remember: how much we love our lives is typically a direct reflection of how much we love ourselves. If you want to know how to build confidence, ask yourself if you truly value your own worth as you should. Many women confuse feeling worthy with arrogance or self-absorption... The difference is that believing in yourself relates to the meaningful qualities you have to offer - intelligence, kindness, love and humor, for example. Celebrating, pampering and most importantly, respecting your worth are all significant parts of the hunt for greater self-esteem. At work, in your relationships, even in your day to day routine, strive to honor yourself and interact in ways that promote and recognize your immense value. You deserve it!
Building confidence is an evolving process that tends to move in highs and lows with our life changes and events. There are many strategies you can implement to improve or maintain your self-esteem, and there is no better time to recognize how valuable you are and acknowledge how much a strong self worth can enhance your life. While true assurance comes from within, knowing how to build confidence will encourage the process and keep you on the right track. How do you focus on keeping up your self-esteem?
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