All Women's Talk

How to Deal when Your Friends Lie to You ...

By Alison

Friends should be people you can trust to always tell you the truth. So if you find out they've been lying to you it's a real let-down. Can you ever trust them again? Does it mean the end of the friendship? Not always. Ditching your friend may not be the best way to handle her lies. So here's how to deal with your friend lying to you …

1 How do the Lies Affect You

First of all, how do her lies affect you? Are they just irritating rather than a major problem? For instance, lies which have a serious impact on others or herself are more concerning, or if she expects you to lie for her. If she's just boasting about places she hasn't been to, in order to impress people, that's silly but won't have serious consequences.

Big You know I was actually watching the popular anime...

2 Can You Trust Her

Also ask yourself if you can really trust your friend. Feeling that you can't trust someone has ruined many friendships and relationships. If you know that she's generally trustworthy, then insignificant lies like pretending to be busy when she doesn't want to go out isn't a big deal. But if she's lying about important things, that's another matter.

3 Be Cautious What You Tell Her

Depending on the nature of the lies your friend tells, being cautious about what you tell her may be an option. Let's say she's known for embellishing and exaggerating the facts. You could handle this by avoiding telling her anything that she could exaggerate. If she doesn't know about things, she can't lie about them.

4 Tell Her It Upsets You

Sometimes, talking to your friend about her behavior is the best way of changing her behavior. Telling her that you're upset by her actions may work, providing she's capable of listening to constructive criticism. If she cares about you, she'll be ready to change her ways.

5 Understand What is Causing Her to Lie

Do you understand what is making your friend tell lies? Perhaps she is worried about something or feels inadequate. She may pretend that she earns more money because she's trying to keep up with wealthier friends. Reassure her that her income isn't the most important thing and that you like her for what she brings to your friendship.

6 Don't Take Her Word for It

If you have a friend who tells lies, but you don't want to break off the friendship, don't take her word for it when she tells you anything. For instance, she may tell you that someone you know is pregnant when they aren't, and you put your foot in it when you congratulate them! Check facts for yourself, and avoid any faux pas or upsets.

7 Do You Want to Be Friends with a Chronic Liar

Ultimately, if your friend is a chronic liar you may need to ask yourself if that is the kind of person you want in your life. These people can be damaging and hard to trust. So if her lies are upsetting you, and she won't listen when you ask her to stop, you may need to reassess whether it's worth having her around.

We're all economical with the truth sometimes; if George Washington actually said 'I cannot tell a lie' he was probably lying! Have you ever been caught out in a lie?

Please rate this article





Readers questions answered