9 Ways to Cope when Your Best Friend Becomes Your Worst Enemy ...


It's painful when your best friend becomes your worst enemy. You feel betrayed and you struggle to understand how someone so close to you could drift so far away. Many times there are hurtful recriminations that you struggle to understand – and there may be some responsibility on your end as well. In many ways, losing a close friend is worse than a break up, because this is your person, your confidante, your bestie. However, there are ways you can cope when your best friend becomes your worst enemy.

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Try to Talk It out

The first thing you need to do when your best friend becomes your worst enemy is to try and talk it out. It's best if you can do it when you feel the friendship starting to slide into enemy territory, but if that's not possible, at least give it a try as soon as possible. You may need to wait until certain wounds scab over or until tempers cool a little, but if you want to salvage the friendship, it's worth a shot. Understand, however, that talking it out won't always be possible.


Take Time to Grieve

As I mentioned, the end of a friendship is sometimes even more painful than the end of a romantic relationship. Give yourself time to grieve it, even if things do end up getting better. Losing your friend hurts, and you won't be the same again. You may not be able to trust another BFF any time soon, and you need to give yourself time to deal with that.


Branch out Your Friendships

Don't isolate yourself, however, and don't shut out all your other friends. More importantly, don't let this one ending keep you from at least trying to get close to other friends, even if they're new ones. You're not trying to make your old bestie jealous here, but you need to branch out into new friendships. Surround yourself with people you like, people with whom you have things in common, people who seem trustworthy.


Don't Give in to Insults

Unfortunately, it's somewhat common for new frenemies to get catty with one another. Insults, put downs, and accusations abound as two people who were once so close now use secrets and closely guarded confessions to strike out at one another. Don't give into that, even if your former friend is doing it. Be the bigger woman and hold onto your dignity – even if it seems like she's goading you into responding. In fact, at that point you should make it a special point to hold back and keep your tongue in check.


Ignore the Situation

Sometimes you have to ignore your former friend. It will be hard, especially if you really miss her or if she's going out of her way to hurt you, but now's not the time to make amends or to engage in verbal warfare. If you ignore her antics, she'll quickly lose steam. Besides, if she's saying bad things about you, your remaining true friends aren't going to believe her; they know you.


Try to Understand

This is hard too, but you should try to understand what went wrong, especially if you're looking for closure or have any hope of someday repairing the friendship. You have to take responsibility if you played a part in the rift and to do that, you have to understand what happened. You can't blame everything on her and she can't blame everything on you.


Keep It Cordial

If you run in the same circles, work in the same place, or live in the same town, you can't always ignore the situation. That's okay. Just stay cordial. By being as polite as possible, then again, you come off as the bigger woman and you retain your self respect. In this kind of situation, that's incredibly important.


Look for Distractions

As with any breakup, distractions will help get you through. Find a new hobby, new friends to hang out with, or new things to do. Throw yourself into work or studying, take up yoga, get some exercise, and don't dwell on your past friendship. Reflection is one thing, and there's a time for that, but don't make it the only thing you ever think about or you'll drive yourself crazy.


Realize It's Time to Move on

Sometimes friendships can be repaired but at other times, there's just too much damage. Maybe time will heal those wounds, but that doesn't always happen. Maybe you have no interest in rekindling your relationship, or perhaps your friend is quits for good. Whatever the case, realize when you're beating a dead horse and do everything you can to move on in a new direction.

If you're lucky, you've never had to deal with this frankly devastating situation. If you have, you know how extremely hard it is. Do you have any tips to share on how you got over the heartache? Let us know how you got through, and if you were ever able to reconcile when your bestie became your biggest frenemy.

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This is my relationship with my bestfriend. She always gets on my nerves, and she always tries to get into fights with me. For example I'll zone out and she'll say "so you're mad at me", or my favorite, "you're in a bitchy mood today".

I have 2 best friends E and D..... Me and E share a birthday and at one time were closer than D and I.... well right around E and I's birthday... D and I got closer E didn't seem to notice or care because she was being meaner and meaner to me I confronted her about it.... and she called ME childish..... I was beyond angry D fixed it and we were okay again not the same but okay.... Our birthday rolls around we go to church together my mom takes her home then me my mom and cousin spend the day together.... next Saturday comes around its MY birthday party at a bowling ally... me my dad my step mom mymom my cousin and best friends are there.. E and D basically ditch me the entire time and run aroundand play games together... I ignore it... memy cousin and E and D all stay at D's house after... On the car ride to D's house I had been begging my mom all night to let me do this vegan purple dye in my hair because D had... and she says no so like a normal teenager I pout and have a bit of an attitude... and E tries to be a mother and chastise me like she always does and im already a little irritated from earlier so I snap at her and tell her shes not my mom the same time my mom does... we get to D's house she throws her shoe at me and runs inside D follows....I hide her shoe and wait for a few outside with my cousin.... I go inside to D's room... and SHE is mad at ME... and wont tell me why and screams at me to don't go near her leave her alone... don't touch her.... so I say screw it and walk down to the basement to calm down.... then I decide to be the bigger person once again and try to talk to her... she and D and my cousin are on the back porch and E is crying... this may sound really selfish but I don't get a birthday to myselfso I havea birthday party for Me and she makes it about HER!! and how she misses her mom.... I try and comfort her talking about how ikind of understand because my dad went to prison for a year and I felt like he abandoned me...(Her mom lives in a diff state) shes like you don't get it and stalks off D followes her I get angry again and go to the basement... where they just happened to be.. they are talking and immediately stop when my cousin and I walk into the room we go to a diff room in the basement and play pool I vent to her then try to help E they again stop talking as soon as I walk in the room the E goes upstairs... D tells me to go away and E to comeback... after awhile E and D come back and we all decide to watch movies on xbox... things are normal... but E didn't change I just started taking things better but today I was tired of it and called her out on it then D DEFENDEDS HER.... and now I always feel like a third wheel around them.. I don't care if I loose E but I cant loose D she IS MY BESTFRIEND ive never had on before so this was special to me... I don't know what to do please help...

I have had this happen. And these tips would have been very helpful

Mine just became best friends with my absolute worst enemy and hates me

@Christine It sounds like you just need to talk it out with her and explain what you've just told us. I'm sure she will understand, as she's your best friend. If you only have sincere intentions, it will show and she'll realise it too.

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