It can be really difficult to deal with family arguments because you’re pretty much stuck with your family; you can’t just ditch them like you can with friends with whom you no longer get along. However, also unlike friends, you can’t just find a new family, so it’s important to try and deal with family arguments in a way that won’t result in your being family torn apart. Here are some things you could do if you’re in conflict, or encourage other family members in conflict with each other to do.
One of the best things that you can do to help deal with family arguments is to not cut off contact from the person with whom you have a dispute. If you can, still send them a Christmas card and always let them know any important news. If there are any births, marriages and especially deaths that you don’t tell someone about just because you’ve fallen out, your relationship will become irreparable.
Stubbornness never brings any argument to an end, so bite the bullet and apologize first. Once you do, you’ll probably find that the other person is relieved you’ve broken the silence and apologize immediately too.
Don’t avoid important family gatherings just because there’s someone that you want to avoid. You won’t help yourself if you annoy the rest of your family by behaving childishly, so you should put a brave face on, smile and try and act like you mean it!
As with any argument, nothing will be resolved if you haven’t told each other exactly what the problems are. Try to sit down and talk calmly, or write a polite letter if you’re definitely not on speaking terms. It’s best if you can all avoid being accusatory and confrontational, though.
While it’s true that you must tell a family member of what exactly your problem is, you should talk to them directly, not talk about them behind their back to other family members. This can leave other people in a very awkward situation, and it could become like a bad game of Chinese Whispers, where the information ends up being totally wrong.
If you expect things to return to normal overnight, you’ll feel disappointed even if you manage to improve the situation. Don’t set your expectations too high, because any improvement is still an improvement and you should make the most of it.
As much as you can repair relationships and end arguments, your sister may never stop being bossy and your parents could be snobby for the rest of their lives. Don’t expect people to change too much because chances are, they just won’t be able to. Focus more on behavior and how they express certain attitudes and opinions, rather than trying to change what anyone thinks and feels. Equally, if you don’t like someone’s partner, don’t expect him or her to leave them just because it would make you happy!
Hopefully your family gets along great and you’ll never find yourself having to deal with any major arguments, at least. If you do, hopefully these tips will go some way to helping. What tips would you share for helping others deal with family arguments?
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