What are some ways to handle a friend who copies you? It's often said that you should be flattered if a friend dresses like you and copies your tastes. But in fact it can be extremely irritating if they're buying the same clothes as you or taking an interest in everything that you're into. Here are some ways to handle a friend who copies you …
1. Talk to Them
One of the ways to handle a friend who copies you is to have a talk with them about it. They may not realise that they're irritating you, and are just being unconsciously influenced by you. Tell them nicely that you've noticed they're doing/buying/wearing the same things as you, and that you'd rather they didn't copy you quite as much …
2. Understand Why
Try to understand your friend's motivation for copying you. Do they suffer from a lack of self-esteem? Perhaps they admire your style and confidence, and think that copying you will somehow make them like you are inside as well as outside. If you understand why they do it, you may be able to help them - and put an end to their copying.
3. Keep Quiet
If your friend copies what you do as soon as you announce your plans, then it may be smart to keep quiet about what you're going to do. If they don't know about it, they can't copy you! So wherever you can, try to make sure they don't know that you're going to book a trip to Hawaii or decorate your lounge pink ....
4. Encourage Them to Be Different
Perhaps your friend just needs a bit of help to show them how to develop their own style. Encourage them to wear outfits that look good on them or suggest a haircut that would look great on them (and is different from yours). This may work better for some people than asking them outright to stop copying you, so try this if you think they'd be offended by being told they're a copycat.
5. Show Them It's Absurd
Sometimes a short, sharp shock will bring it home to your friend what they're doing. If they'll copy absolutely anything you do, then do or wear something daft, and wait for them to copy you. This might make them realise that they've taken their habit rather too far.
6. Flattery
Although it can get on your nerves when a friend copies you, consider if it is indeed a form of flattery. Perhaps your friend really loves your style so much that she wants to look the same. If you think about it, you may conclude that it doesn't bother you quite as much as you thought it did.
7. Limit Contact
If nothing you try works, and you really can't stop your friend from copying you, your only option might be to limit contact with her. Perhaps you can't avoid her altogether if you hang around in the same places, but the less you see of her, the fewer opportunities she'll have to copy you.
We all want to have our own identity (well, most of us anyway), so a copycat friend can really get on your nerves. Try to nip it in the bud before she turns into Single White Female! What is the most annoying way in which anyone's ever copied you?
Frequently Asked Questions
- What should I do if my friend copies everything I do?
- Talk to them kindly. Let them know you've noticed they copy you a lot, and ask why they do it. Sometimes a heart-to-heart chat can help them understand it bothers you.
- Why does my friend copy my style and ideas?
- Your friend might copy you because they think you're cool and they like your style. They could be trying to find their own way, so they look to you for inspiration.
- Is it okay to feel upset about my friend copying me?
- Yes, it's normal to feel upset. It's important to feel like you’re your own person. If it bothers you, it's okay to feel that way and to talk about it.
- How can I nicely tell my friend to stop copying me?
- You can say something like, 'I've noticed you wear the same clothes as me a lot. It makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. Can we talk about it?' Be gentle and use 'I' statements to avoid blaming them.
- Can copying be a form of flattery?
- Yes, when someone copies you, it can be because they admire you. They might not realize it makes you uncomfortable. Seeing it as flattery might help you feel a bit better about it.