By Alison • 3 Comments
Finding out that your best friend is moving away comes as an awful shock. You may have grown up together, and spend a lot of your spare time together. But even the closest friends sometimes end up on different paths, sometimes because of work or personal choices. It's sad to think that you won't be able to meet up easily, and can feel as though your familiar world is changing. Here is what you should do if your best friend moves away
However upset you are that your friend is leaving, don't try to influence them and change their mind. Respect their choices and avoid criticising their decision. They have to do what is right for them, not what you would prefer them to do. It's hard to let them go, but that's life - sometimes we have to say goodbye to people we love.
You may feel inclined to bombard them with messages to reconsider, but it's crucial to support them with kindness instead. Acknowledge the courage it takes to embark on a new chapter and celebrate their strength. After all, friendship is about wanting the best for each other, even if that means being apart. Your unconditional support will not only help them feel more confident in their move but also reinforce the depth of your bond.
Make firm plans on when you're next going to meet up. If distance means that it won't be soon, start saving up and decide on when you will be able to get together. It's something to look forward to, so make it happen; don't just talk vaguely about going to visit one day.
Choose a specific date and put it in the calendar. This creates a sense of real commitment rather than a plan that may never come to fruition. To make it more exciting, alternate between who visits whom each time, or even plan a getaway together at a new destination that’s exciting for both of you. Remember, the anticipation of seeing each other can be just as thrilling as the actual visit, so keep the conversation ongoing about the plans, and share ideas on what you'll do together. It's about creating shared experiences, even from a distance.
It's so easy to stay in contact with friends who move away. You can easily have a video conversation on Skype or another platform. So try to talk regularly with your friend; although it's not the same as having coffee or evenings out, it does feel good to be able to see their face as you talk online.
With today's technology, you're never too far away from a good heart-to-heart. Schedule a virtual date with your bestie, watch a movie together online, or go for the classic conversation and catch up on everything happening in your lives. Embrace the power of social media too – a quick text or a hilarious meme can bridge the gap in an instant. Remember, keeping in touch should feel like a joy, not a chore. So maintain that treasured bond by finding the sweet spot in your schedules and making those online rendezvous a regular thing.
If you've become overly reliant on your best friend, their moving away gives you the opportunity to find new friends. Don't think about following them to their new home - that would make you look a bit like a stalker! Focus on finding some new activities and building up your circle of friends, so that you're not too dependent on one person alone.
Even when it feels like no one could ever replace them, remember that making new friends opens the door to diverse experiences and perspectives. Consider joining a local club, attending community events, or taking up a new hobby where you can meet people with similar interests. Connecting with others isn't a betrayal to your best friend; it's a way to enrich your life. Bonding over shared activities can help to fill the void, but also leads to personal growth and ensures that your social life remains active and fulfilling.
Try to be positive about your friend's move. See it as a positive step for them. Perhaps it's a job opportunity that's taking them away, in which case you should be pleased for them and encourage them to make the most of their new opportunity. And you'll be able to visit them, which will be great fun, especially if they move somewhere exciting to visit.
Remember, change is a natural part of life, and your support can mean the world during a big transition. Be the cheerleader in their corner. Celebrate their bravery and sense of adventure! And who knows, their move could open up new possibilities for you too – from discovering a new city to experiencing different cultures. Plus, staying positive keeps the door open for your friendship to continue to grow, just in a different way. Make plans, set dates for future visits, and start a countdown – it'll give you both something wonderful to look forward to!
Perhaps this is also a good opportunity to evaluate your own life and see if you need to shake anything up. Where would you like your life to go? Could you make a move of your own? Do you need a change of scenery or career? We can get stuck in a rut without even noticing, so it's good to make a change every now and then.
Finally, sad as it may seem, you can outgrow some friendships. It may in time become clear that one or both of you isn't going to make that much effort to keep in touch. If that happens, don't be too sad; sometimes you need to clear out the old and make room for the new.
Living in a different city (or even country) from your best friend is sad, but you can keep in touch so easily these days. Do you think you can have more than one best friend?