All Women's Talk

8 Ways to Rebuild Your Identity after a Breakup ...

By Lisa

Are you going through a difficult time after splitting with your boyfriend and want some help them with ways to find yourself after a breakup? Sometimes we can lose ourselves in a relationship and end up feeling completely lost after we are no longer part of a couple. If you spent all of your weekends cheering on your man at his work bowling leagues and certain weeknights were dedicated to dinner and a movie at your place, it’s hard to abruptly change the routine you were used to! It’s so easy to identify yourself mainly as someone’s girlfriend and sort of put your “former” self on the back burner and forget what it feels like to you pre-relationship again. Here are 8 ways to get your groove back so you can get back to living and loving your life!

1 Talk to People

Reestablish bonds with people who you were close to before you became part of a couple and vent as one of the great ways to find yourself after a breakup. If you remained tight with all of your close friends while you were involved, you’re ahead of the game! Avoid reaching out to mutual friends as it can get awkward for both sides. Get all of your feelings out with people you trust and love and just ask them to listen to you. Give yourself time to heal and lean on your friends for awhile.

2 Enjoy Alone Time

Another way to rebuild your identity after a breakup is to enjoy some time alone. Did you have to give up doing certain things as a result of being so-and-so’s girl? Reclaim your uniqueness and get back to doing things that you loved to do before you had to start compromising! If you miss watching Spongebob on Saturday mornings in your jammies, do it! Enjoy getting to know your single self again, things that you enjoy doing alone or with others.

3 Get out More

Since we know that reconnecting with friends is an effective way to find yourself after a breakup, make sure you get out often and enjoy life outside of your house! I know that you’ll crave the comforts of home while you’re healing, but you’ve gotta get out eventually so why not go out and have fun?! Accept invitations to do things with your friends whether it’s a concert or dinner at their place. Getting out of your cocoon and getting a change in scenery will remind you of what you’re missing out on being holed up!

4 Tone Yourself up

It might be hard to get out and do things when you just feel like moping around at home so if you don’t feel like facing the world yet, at least get some exercise in while you’re at home because it’s a another one of the fantastic ways to get your groove back after a breakup! I know, it sounds so unappealing, but getting your frustration and aggression out through exercise can be really therapeutic and getting back in shape will no doubt help you with feeling more confident!

5 Live a Healthy Life

One of the key ways to find yourself after a breakup is to kick bad habits and live a healthy life by cutting out excess alcohol or any other vices you might have. Take good care of yourself and be mindful of what you put in your body! Quit social smoking, excessive drinking and recreational drugs surround yourself with people who live healthy lives too. Don’t let the separation convince you that you need a crutch to cope; let the separation inspire to do good things for yourself and others!

6 Keep on Living

Resuming your life as normal might not seem like the most helpful of ways to find yourself after a breakup but it is! You probably have good and bad days and sometimes you just want to sob your eyes out while you listening to “your song” on repeat and you should understand that it’s totally okay to be down and cry but you also have to keep living your life! Don’t let this incident prevent you from working, going to school, pursuing your goals or enjoying life with your friends and family. Don’t allow anyone stop you from living your life to the fullest!

7 Keep Yourself Busy

Keeping yourself busy can be fabulous way to find yourself after a breakup! Fill your calendar up with new projects at work or fun activities with friends and family. Take this time as a single gal to really focus on yourself and what you want. Enroll yourself in school again or take on some extra tasks at work and start working on that promotion! Keeping yourself busy will help keep your mind off of him and focus on the present.

8 Don’t Rush Relationships

Of all the ways to rebuild your identity after a breakup, the main thing to avoid is rushing into another relationship! It might sound tempting to channel all of your energy into a new guy to forget about what’s-his-face but it can actually end up making you feel worse. Getting into another relationship now-casual or serious will only make you feel better briefly and it’s not smart to start something new when you haven’t even gotten over your other relationship yet!

Although the end of a relationship can feel like the end of the world, there are lots of ways to find yourself after a breakup and start feeling like yourself again! I completely get that breakups are hard and can really scar you but it’s also important to recognize that this experience will make you stronger and a better woman as a result! Learn from the mistakes you made in that relationship and use it to help you determine what you want and don’t want in future relationships!

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