8 Tips for How to Deal with People Who Talk about You behind Your Back ...

By Heather

8 Tips for How to Deal with People Who Talk about You behind Your Back ...

If you’re struggling with how to deal with people who talk about you behind your back, I have some tips for you! I struggled with this my entire youthhood, and can honestly say, I wish I hadn’t cared so much. People can be cruel, especially when you’re young. Yet, even women who are adults have to deal with this issue, as do many men out there. Whether you’re young or old, check out some simple ways for how to deal with people who talk about you behind your back. I promise, if someone who is as sensitive to hurtful comments as I am can learn these, anyone can!

Get notified about new quizzes like this.

1

Don't Let the Person "win"

This tip was generously shared by one of our readers, Salma T. Thanks Salma!

I think it's really important to always remember that the person who's talking about you has gone down to a very low level to try and hurt you, and that you should always be the better person and not get mad about it and lash out at the person. As long as you ignore the person and the issue, that person will never get the satisfaction of knowing that they won the "fight".

Please feel free to add your own point at the end of the post. We'd love to hear from you!

UPD:

Dealing with people who talk about you behind your back can be a difficult and uncomfortable situation. Unfortunately, this kind of behavior is all too common, but there are ways to handle it.

One tip is to avoid letting the person “win”. This was generously shared by one of our readers, Salma T. It’s important to remember that the person who is talking about you has gone down to a very low level to try and hurt you. It’s best to not get mad and lash out at the person, but instead ignore the person and the issue. This way, the person will never get the satisfaction of knowing that they won the “fight”.

Another tip is to take some time to think before responding. It’s easy to become angry and want to respond immediately, but it’s important to take a step back and think before reacting. This can help to keep the situation from escalating.

It can also be helpful to talk to a trusted friend or family member about the situation. Talking to someone who understands and can provide a listening ear can be very beneficial. It can also help to put things into perspective and help you to stay level-headed.

2

Consider the Source

One of the first tips for how to deal with people who talk about you behind your back is to consider the kind of person who’s actually doing it. Most of the time, it’s someone who has to compete with you somehow, whether as a colleague, other female, or team mate. Even your friends are in competition with you at some point in life, so if that's who talking about you behind your back, keep this in mind. Usually, they’re trying to gain something in favor of someone else by talking about you. Remember that most of the time, the person talking about you is only doing so for their gain, or that they just don't know how to deal with a mature relationship. Remember that before taking the next steps.

UPD:

This kind of situation is unfortunately too common and can be very hurtful and damaging to our self-esteem. It is important to remember that the person talking about you behind your back is likely doing it out of jealousy or insecurity.

It is important to take a step back and assess the situation. Try to look at the person objectively and consider their motives. Are they trying to make themselves look better by tearing you down? Are they trying to gain favor with someone else? Are they just trying to make themselves feel better by making you feel worse?

It is also important to remember that it is not your job to change the person talking about you. You cannot control their actions or words, but you can take steps to protect yourself. You can choose to distance yourself from the person, or you can confront them if you feel comfortable doing so.

It is also important to be mindful of your own actions and words. Try to be the bigger person and not stoop to their level. If you are able to, try to show them kindness and compassion.

Frequently asked questions

Clear up any misunderstandings by providing the truth to your close friends, and request that they don’t spread the gossip further.

People may gossip due to jealousy, boredom, or their own insecurities. It's usually more about their issues than anything to do with you.

Talk to a friend you trust about how you're feeling, engage in activities you enjoy, and work on building your self-confidence.

Focus on surrounding yourself with positive people and ignore the negative talk. Often, not engaging with the gossip can be the best way to avoid confrontations.

Stay true to yourself. You can't control what others say, but you can control your reaction and your own actions.

While gossip is usually seen as negative, sometimes it can lead to a positive outcome, like bringing issues to light that need to be addressed.

It's painful, but remember that true friends won't believe or spread gossip. Focus on those who support and believe in you.

Talking about someone in return may escalate the situation. Try to take the high road and not stoop to their level; it reflects better on your character.

If you believe it's necessary and will resolve the issue, you can confront them. Do so privately and calmly, express your feelings without being aggressive.

Try to stay calm and not jump to conclusions. It might hurt, but it's important to assess whether what's being said affects you directly. If you feel the need, you could approach the person calmly to discuss it.

3

Confront Them

The next thing you should do is to confront the person talking about you, but in a responsible, calm way. Don’t ask them why, because that doesn’t matter. Instead, tell them how hurt you are, and that you truly hate they feel that way, but you don’t appreciate them talking about you behind your back, especially if it isn't true. Confronting them puts you in control, and shuts the door on them talking about you. Even if they continue to talk about you behind your back, you’ve at least shown them you’re aware of it, and usually, this prevents them from doing so in the future.

UPD:

Confronting someone who talks about you behind your back is not easy, but it can be an effective way to put a stop to their behavior. According to a study by the University of Groningen, confronting the person directly can lead to a decrease in their negative behavior towards you. It is important to approach the situation calmly and assertively, rather than aggressively. This shows that you are not afraid to stand up for yourself and can discourage them from continuing to talk about you. It also allows you to express how their actions have hurt you, making them realize the impact of their words.

4

Don’t Worry about It

I know this sounds easier said than done, but truly, you can’t worry what people say about you all the time. Life is short, and your life is not going to be made up of what people say about you behind your back.

UPD:

When it comes to dealing with people who talk about you behind your back, the most important thing to remember is that you can't control what other people say. You can, however, control how you react to it. Here are eight tips to help you cope with the situation.

  1. Don’t take it personally. People who talk about you behind your back are usually feeling insecure or jealous and are trying to make themselves feel better by putting you down.

  2. Don’t retaliate. It’s tempting to want to get back at someone who is talking about you, but don’t do it. It will only make things worse.

  3. Talk to a trusted friend. It can be helpful to talk to someone who knows you and can offer you support and perspective.

  4. Don’t Worry about It. I know this sounds easier said than done, but truly, you can’t worry what people say about you all the time. Life is short, and your life is not going to be made up of what people say about you behind your back.

5

Move on

Next, move on about your business. Get new friends, and show other people that what the person who is talking about you behind your back isn’t true. This is the best way to “get back” at another person talking about you - not lashing out.

UPD:

It’s never easy to deal with people who talk about you behind your back. It can be especially difficult for women, who are often the target of gossip and negativity. The best way to handle this situation is to take the high road and move on.

First, it's important to remember that people who talk about you behind your back are often insecure or jealous of you. Don't take their comments to heart and don't let them get the best of you.

Second, don't stoop to their level by talking about them. This will only make the situation worse. Instead, focus on yourself and the positive aspects of your life.

Third, don't let their words affect your self-esteem. Remind yourself of your worth and the good qualities that you possess.

Fourth, don't let yourself be dragged down by the negativity. Instead, use it as motivation to be the best version of yourself.

Famous Quotes

If you would take, you must first give, this is the beginning of intelligence.

Laozi
6

Remember You’re Better

Next, remember that you’re better than the low level the person talking about you behind your back has stooped to. Don’t give in to temptation to get mad, pout, and acting juvenile about it. Be an adult and move on about your business.

UPD:

When people talk behind your back, it can be incredibly hurtful and have a negative impact on your mental health. It's important to remember that you are better than the person who is talking about you. Don't let yourself be dragged down to their level by lashing out or acting immature. Instead, take a deep breath and focus on how to handle the situation in a mature and responsible way. There are many strategies you can use to deal with people who talk about you behind your back, such as ignoring the gossip, confronting the person directly, or talking to a trusted friend. Taking control of the situation can help you to regain your confidence and move forward.

7

Tap into Your Backbone

The great thing about other people talking about you, is it gives you a backbone! You’ll want to make sure to tap into that backbone now more than ever. What I mean by this is, you’ve got to develop some tough skin. Others talking about you is part of growing up. Get strong, and write it off!

UPD:

It's natural to feel hurt and angry when you find out people have been talking about you behind your back. It can be difficult to handle such situations and it can be hard to know how to respond. But there are some tips that can help you deal with people who talk about you behind your back.

The first step is to remember that it's not about you. People who talk behind your back are usually trying to make themselves feel better or look better in front of others. Don't take it personally.

The second step is to take a deep breath and remember that you are strong and capable. Remind yourself that you have the power to choose how you react and how you feel.

The third step is to tap into your backbone. This means developing a thick skin and not letting the words of others affect you. It's important to remember that people talking about you is part of growing up and that you should write it off.

8

Think about More Positive Things

You can’t sit around and focus on what someone says about you behind your back. You’ll drive yourself crazy, and you’re not going to change anything. Being mad initially is natural, but after that, pick yourself up and move on, and think about something more positive instead! Your precious energy and talents shouldn’t be wasted concentrating on negative and usually untrue things, that someone is saying about you behind your back.

Learning and implementing these things has really helped me over the years, and I hope they will for you too. If you’ve learned something helpful about how to deal with people who talk about you behind your back, do you mind sharing it? What have you learned about people that chat about you when you’re not around?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

#1 your a better person than they are they always get there day they have nothing else to do with there boring life

My best friend has been talking about me behind my back and has been making new best friends, only talking to me about her problems and relying on me as a back-up friend. What should I do?

#1 By not addressing the issue you ARE letting the person win. They have simply not received any negative reinforcement for their bad behavior. These people feel like they have a license to say whatever they want about whomever they please. I would make sure the person is aware that you without a doubt heard them talking about you. Now, what you do from here all depends. What I would do is, I would give it to God. But I understand that some people operate without knowing God. If I were them I would tell my friends who was talking about me and what they said about me. I might even have a conversation with the person they were talking to. Tell them that they were participating in a conversation that was at my expense without my permission and in the absence of my presence so that I might defend myself. The bottom line is this; chances are if you overhear someone talking about you then it probably happens fairly often. Overhearing gossip is like spotting a roach; if you see one, there's many more around hiding.

but if we are meant to stay away from that person we cant approach them

#1 That's helpful

#4 I like this!! It really is helping me :)

#4 me too i dont care about what poeple say

There is this girl in my class, her name is Jayla. This guy in my class was saying me and her is best friend and I said that we weren't best friend and she also said that and then she started to saying that she is my 4 choice and that was in math class and then in science she also said that. After school, I went home and I remember what she said and I knew what she meant but I just didn't want to say something back because I was very tired that day, and I say to my self that if she say that one more time the next day, I'm gonna confront her. Ad then the next day, she started to talk about her best friend and she will be his first choice and then she was like unlike someone and then she look at me and then I got very mad and then I told her and the rest of the day I didn't talk to her. And then after school, I told my friend about it, they said that they throught Jayla was nice but she actually being toxic to me. And on Nov, 7, 2022, on monday we will confront her and I will end our friendship because I didn't to be friend with a person who talk shit about me. And SHE IS BEING SO FAKE!!

#1 nice

Laugh

Related Topics

i mean people drunk roomate what to do when your roommate ignores you how to work a room at a party he never apologized for hurting me how to show sorry what do people need help with drama in friend group how to tell someone to mind their own business rudely dealing with in laws that dont like you

Popular Now