After the recent 'Women Against Feminism' online campaign, I wanted to take the opportunity to share some of my thoughts about feminism. This is largely because I feel that it's a term I, as a woman, don't own anymore. Rather, I feel like I'm told, by both men and women, how I should feel, what I should do and what feminism should mean to me. Whilst I class myself as a feminist - of course I do - I don't like this. So, if you feel the same or catch yourself feeling guilty for not believing in something you feel you should, here are 7 thoughts about feminism you can have and still be a feminist.
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1. It's OK Not to 'get It'
If you asked a group of women for their thoughts about feminism, I doubt you would get the same answers. Feminism isn't easily defined, probably because it means something slightly different to everyone. To me, it means equal rights for women all over the world and a fight against the objectification of women in daily life and the media. That's what I want to fight for. If your definition of feminism doesn't fit in with that, that's OK. If your definition of feminism doesn't fit in with the famous writer who's revered by feminists everywhere, that is also OK.
2. I Am a Woman, Not a Feminist
Because there is so much debate surrounding the term itself, I know a lot of women who don't want to class themselves as a feminist - or, at least, they don't want that to define them. And that is OK. But it doesn't mean you're against feminism. What woman could possibly argue against, for example, equal rights and pay? It's the term and the stereotype you're objecting to, not the issues.
3. Men Will Judge Me if I Say I'm a Feminist
I know a lot of men who automatically assume an idea, often negative or slightly mocking, of you in their minds if you say you're a feminist. This isn't right but it is sadly true. I know that admitting you're scared of saying you're a feminist because you're worried about what a man will think goes against the very idea of feminism. Unfortunately, that's how it is. However, it's also one thing that you really can't let affect you.
4. Women Will Judge Me for My Beliefs
Unfortunately, this works the other way, too and personally, I think it's even worse. It's by no means a united movement and you don't know whether you'll have someone's support or their condemnation. If that puts you off openly sharing your opinions on the subject, I, for one, understand your reasons.
5. Does It Really Affect Me?
I know a lot of women don't identify themselves as feminists because they don't feel the need to. They're not oppressed and they're not discriminated against. That's wonderful. If you don't feel like a victim, I don't see why you should act like one. But the fact is, there are women all over the world who aren't granted even the basest of human rights - and that is why we still need feminism.
6. I like Men, so Can I Be a Feminist?
I noticed that a lot of women (in the anti-feminism campaign) said that they liked men so therefore they weren't feminists. That's completely ridiculous - of course you can be a feminist and still like men!
7. I Don't Want to Be Told What to do
I feel like I am told, by some women with feminist beliefs, the way I should feel, the views I should have and the way I should live. I can't be the only one who feels this and until that judgement is gone, until women are allowed to live exactly as they want - whether that's as a single woman without children in her forties and a married stay-at-home mum in her early twenties - it will be a concept that divides as many women as it unites.
I did feel nervous writing this as I know how inflammatory anything on the topic can be. I just feel that most women are middle-of-the-road - not anti-feminists but not actively campaigning - and I think there should be more out there to reflect that. How do you feel about feminism?
Comments
CyranoSCW: Also on #3...living in a conservative part of the country, every now and then you'll hear feminists being judged in a religious sense, as though it's inherently against God to believe that way. I'm no scholar, but if I understand it correctly the verses they use as "proof" are usually taken out of context. Like I said, it's not heard very often, but it's another kind of "judgement".
Margie: There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a feminist! Mostly (note I say MOSTLY) all feminists believe in encouraging and empowering other women, so women who have the same major ideas should not be judged by other women for different opinions or thoughts from the other...for me, what matters is that we need to be treated equally!
Mari: Bonbon that's rude
missalliedee: I like this article a lot. I am not against feminism, but I'm definitely not passionate about it. I feel judged by some of my feminist friends because they view almost everything as an attack on women that I didn't think twice about. Sometimes, I do think that we read too much into things. Just my two cents:)
Neecey: Well done Ellie. I think you have provided a voice for many who are confused on this issue. Beautifully articulated and I'm sure it will help some women sort out their own view of what feminism means to them and how to be happy with it. You rocked this girl!
Inna: @Elizabeth Lowe, Oh my goodness, that is the perfect way to put it. I love that you said that, I completely agree! :-)
CyranoSCW: #7 Actually, I think that telling you how you should feel is the antithesis of feminism...meaning, the whole idea I think the earlier waves of feminism had was that they thought women be allowed to think and do for themselves as opposed to having someone else try to do it for them. And now the types you mention in number 7 are doing exactly that-telling you what to think, as though they're thinking for you. Same concept, just a different person doing the "telling". Do what you want to do, think what you want to think. If someone really believes in women's equality, they won't mind.
Adria: I agree with neecey
bonbon: Elizabeth lowe I completely agree with you! I hate it when men are put down in order to make a woman look good. i think it is unfair and definitely is mot equality.
Aliza: Great article :)
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