If things are going well with the lady in your life, and you just can't handle the peace, maybe it's time you tossed out one of these little "conversation starters," guaranteed to begin what may well be the spat that will piss her off and end your relationship. Ready to kick-start some drama? Let's go.
1 Are You on Your Period or Something?
Implying that your lady friend is angry, hurt, or sad solely because she has PMS is an excellent way to piss her off. Sure, it could be hormones, and the agony of cramps. But it could also be that you said or did something incredibly stupid, which might also explain her showing some emotion.
2 Girls Have It so MUCH BETTER than Guys
You know, you're right. We really do! We love being paid about 20% less than men for the same job, having our bodies policed by the entire world, and not being allowed to have an opinion on the internet (or anywhere, really).
3 You Really Shouldn't Wear That
This falls into the "body policing" category, is so pervasive, and inspires so much anger, it deserves its own mention. If you really want to piss a girl off, tell her that something she's wearing is "inappropriate." Bonus points if it actually isn't in any way, or if you add "for your age" at the end.
4 We Don't Need Feminism Anymore
Shut it, right? Even just typing that sentence made me angry. We're not equals yet, and until we are, the suggestion that there's no benefit to men or women in the feminist movement is sure to cause angry feelings.
5 You'd Be Pretty if...
Very few things in this world will anger a woman more than someone making a suggestion about how she could change her appearance to make herself more attractive to someone else.
6 Have You Gained Weight?
This will be most effective if the lady to whom you've posed this question is currently trying to lose weight.
7 The "yet" Questions
These questions all include the word "yet," which carries with it the implication that each of these milestones has some sort of time limit, which they do not. A few examples: why haven't you had kids yet? Why aren't you married yet? Has he proposed yet?
What other sexist and/or questions do you hear that really make you (and other ladies) angry? Do share! My blood pressure doesn't feel quite high enough today.