Ever had one of those friends who make you question their intentions and leave you looking for signs your friend is using you? I think we’ve all encountered this type of person in some capacity be it a new acquaintance or a shady coworker. Even if you don’t think you know anyone like this; keep this list of 7 telling signs your friend is using in mind the next time someone tries to get friendly with you but raises red flags.
Rides, money, meals, the list goes on and on. Girlfriend can’t seem to get herself together and always has some sort of drama going on and relies on you to get her through her most recent crisis. She might have you thinking that she’s the unluckiest girl in the world but she might just be taking advantage of your kindness and generosity. Yes, we all have bad days, weeks or even months but c’mon, you aren’t her mom!
Being a supportive friend is one thing, but becoming her go-to for every hiccup is mentally and financially exhausting. It's crucial to set boundaries. If you've noticed that your assistance is expected rather than appreciated, it might be time for a serious chat. A true friendship is about balance and support, not a one-way street of favors and fixes. Keep an eye out for a pattern of neediness that seems calculated rather than coincidental. After all, you should feel like her friend, not her personal emergency service.
Do you have a hard time tracking her down unless she’s alone and has nothing else to do? You might be her last resort and if you can never seem to get any face time with her unless she contacts you, I’d take it as a sign your friend is using you. Does she invite you out only to enlist you as designated driver or taxi? Friendships should be reciprocal and shouldn’t leave you feeling like a Plan B.
Have you heard from mutual friends or acquaintances that your frenemy has been talking smack about you behind your back? Regardless of whether she tries to play the whole thing off like she was kidding, she should not be talking about you behind your back, period. If she talks about others she considers friends, she’s likely doing it to you too. True friends wouldn’t gossip or put down other friends and wouldn’t say things about them behind their back that they wouldn’t say to their face.
If mutual contacts are your source of intel, that already says a lot. Confronting her might lead to denial, but you'll notice if there's authenticity in her apology or just another façade to keep you around. Does she change the subject swiftly, possibly to another friend's flaws, or does she look genuinely remorseful? Trust your gut. When the pattern of belittlement is consistent, it's not a misstep; it's a strategy. And remember, the respect you allow from others is a reflection of the respect you have for yourself. Don't settle for a counterfeit version of friendship.
You know when you let your buddy borrow your adorable wedges only to end up lending her your jacket and your most-prized designer handbag? If she seems to be constantly falling in love with your belongings and keeping them; take this as another sign your friend is using you. Friends borrow things from each other all the time, but if she isn’t doing the same for you and is having a hard time parting with your stuff, get your things back and cut her off!
Maybe she’s new in town or just wants a new circle of friends, but she’s really interested in your friends and contacts and you start seeing less and less of her after she meets your other pals. Sometimes friends of friends meet and hit it off great, maybe they have even more in common than you with them, but these are indicators of an opportunist and a sign your friend is using you when she drops you once she makes nice with your friends. No matter how well she gets along with others, there really is no good reason for her to completely stop her friendship with you.
Does she always seem to have an emergency that requires your help? She needs you to babysit last minute or needs a free extended stay at your place due to problems at hers? Emergencies do happen, but when they seem to happen like clockwork or when you know something else is going on in her life, be aware that this is a sign your friend using you.
She steals friends, boys, ideas and other things important to you. Being friends with someone doesn’t give you free reign to help yourself to whatever you want of theirs! A definite sign your friend is using you is when they turn others against you to get to them or takes your ideas and claims them as their own. These ideas can be something as little as your suggestion to have a Hello Kitty themed party to taking one of your ideas at work.
Do you relate to these signs your friend is using you? I hope not, but if you find yourself questioning the intentions of someone, protect yourself and be cautious without being overly accusatory. Observe your friend’s actions before you flip any tables or call them out on Facebook and cherish your friends! Good friends are hard to find!
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