All Women's Talk

7 Steps to Writing an Angry Letter and Moving on ...

By Alicia

Writing an angry letter is an emotionally healthy choice you can make to deal with anger that you are holding inside. Many times, you have anger at someone over a relationship that has happened over a period of time that left you with a lot of emotional wounds. Writing an angry letter can help you to process and release those feelings, and no one but you will ever know what the letter contained. It can make you feel so much better inside.

1 Decide to Write One

The first step of writing an angry letter is deciding to really write one. This can actually be a hard step because it means that you are admitting you are very angry with someone and that you have been deeply hurt. You are being brave enough to face that feeling and give it voice rather than stuffing it down inside. You are taking the time to deal with your anger rather than ignore it and repress it where it can rise up and hurt you later. This is a very healthy decision for you emotionally.

2 Write It Unedited and Untimed

When you sit down to write an angry letter, you need to allow yourself to write it unedited. Just say whatever you have to say to the person and say all of it. Remember, they will never see this letter. It is for your eyes only. This helps you to feel freer to be real in your feelings and let it all out. Write as long as you need to and as much as you need to in order to get out all of your feelings.

3 Put It Away for a Few Days

This step is important. It can be tempting to skip it but if you do, you are not going to get all from this process that you should. After you finish writing your angry letter unedited and untimed, put it away somewhere for a few days. Choose a private location where only you will know where it is. During this time it is put away, your mind has more time to process your feelings, reorganize and rethink things.

4 Reread It and Add More

After your angry letter has been put away a few days and you have had time to think and process it in your mind, pull it back out. Reread it and add in more where you need to. You may find that you have more to say than you originally thought you did on a subject. Allow yourself the freedom and space to do that. It is important to hold nothing back.

5 Read It out Loud as if That Person Were There

This next step may make you feel silly but that is okay. It is important and very freeing. Find a time when you are home alone or by yourself. Take out your angry letter and read it out loud. Pretend that the person you are angry at is there and listening. This sounds silly but I promise you, it can really help you to feel like you are releasing your anger.

6 Rip It up

When you are done reading your anger letter, you will more than likely feel as if a lot anger has drained away. You will probably feel a huge feeling of release from allowing that anger to come out instead of being pushed down inside. You may feel some traces of anger left behind and that is okay. As you rip up your letter, imagine you are ripping up those last, lingering remains of anger. When you throw the pieces away, pretend you are throwing away all the hurt and anger you have carried for so long in your heart.

7 Move on and Enjoy the Release

Everyone I have ever known who has written an angry letter has said that it helped them tremendously. I have written a couple of angry letters in my own life and they really helped me. You can write them toward many different people, basically whoever has hurt you or left you deeply wounded that you need to work out your anger over. It is a very healthy way to release your anger. Most of all, it allows you to move past your anger and enjoy the release of all of those negative feelings.

Writing an angry letter is a very mature, emotionally healthy step you can take to release your anger. Have you ever written one? If not, does this seem as if it would be something that would help you deal with a difficult relationship you have had in your life?

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