How should I act if I run into someone who hurt me in the past?

It's completely understandable to feel uneasy. Take a deep breath, stay calm, and try to maintain a polite distance. You don't owe them any interaction. Just be true to yourself and your feelings.

Why does it feel so hard when I see someone who hurt me happy?

It’s tough because it brings back memories and can feel unfair. Remember, their happiness doesn’t diminish your own journey or healing process. Focus on your well-being and personal growth.

What if I keep seeing the person who hurt me around town?

Frequent encounters can be really challenging. It's important to set personal boundaries. If it's affecting your mental health, consider talking to a trusted friend or a therapist about coping strategies.

What does it mean if I keep dreaming about someone from my past who hurt me?

Dreams can be our mind's way of processing unresolved feelings. It might help to explore these emotions by journaling or discussing them with someone you trust. Healing is a journey and it's okay to take your time.

How can I stay strong when facing someone who hurt me?

Focus on what makes you feel grounded and confident. Maybe it’s picturing a supportive friend by your side or reminding yourself of how far you’ve come. Give yourself credit for navigating such a tough situation.

7 Ways to Handle Seeing Someone That Hurt You from Your past the First Time ...

If you’ve ever had someone hurt you, chances are seeing someone that hurt you for the first time again is one of the hardest things you’ll go through. We’ve all had those moments where we’re out having the perfect day, just going for a walk, browsing through our favorite store, or buying some groceries, and we look up only to see someone that has hurt us greatly. A pain shoots through your heart and you want to run and flee, yet lash out angrily at the same time. It is a hard rush of emotions to deal with, as I’m sure many of you know. I’ve been there, like many of you, so here are some ways I’d like to share for how to handle seeing someone that hurt you from your past. Don’t cry, run or yell, but instead, try these tips.

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Breathe

Breathe For starters, when first seeing someone that hurt you from your past, stop and take a deep breath. Give yourself a break and accept that you’re seeing them and going to have to deal with certain emotions. Realize that this was bound to happen sooner or later, and take a deep breath before you proceed.

***

Taking a deep breath not only calms your nerves but also gives you a moment to center yourself. It's a natural and powerful tool that helps you to regain control over your immediate emotional reactions. Doing so creates a buffer of serenity, a mental space where you can remind yourself that you're no longer in that past hurtful situation. Your breathing can serve as a grounding technique, bringing you back to the present, where you have strength and empowerment. Remember, breathing deeply helps to steady the heart rate and signals the brain to relax.

Don’t Hide from Them

Don’t Hide from Them Whatever you do, don’t hide behind a shelf or display, hoping they won’t see you. Though it might work, it might not, and then you’ll just be embarrassed. Plus, seeing them can actually help you move on. You’ll be able to deal with emotions you might have pushed away and finally be able to move on.

***

Embracing the unexpected encounter also gives you the chance to demonstrate how strong you've become. It's natural to want to flee, but there's empowerment in facing your past head-on. You may even surprise yourself with your newfound confidence and composure. Moreover, it'll prevent the awkwardness of being caught trying to duck out of sight. Own your space and remember, courage isn't the absence of fear; it's facing it despite the quiver in your heart. This confrontation, albeit daunting, is a stride towards healing and reclaiming your power.

Related: 7 Ways to Deal with His Ex ...

Frequently asked questions

: It's completely understandable to feel uneasy. Take a deep breath, stay calm, and try to maintain a polite distance. You don't owe them any interaction. Just be true to yourself and your feelings.
: It’s tough because it brings back memories and can feel unfair. Remember, their happiness doesn’t diminish your own journey or healing process. Focus on your well-being and personal growth.
: Frequent encounters can be really challenging. It's important to set personal boundaries. If it's affecting your mental health, consider talking to a trusted friend or a therapist about coping strategies.
: Dreams can be our mind's way of processing unresolved feelings. It might help to explore these emotions by journaling or discussing them with someone you trust. Healing is a journey and it's okay to take your time.
: Focus on what makes you feel grounded and confident. Maybe it’s picturing a supportive friend by your side or reminding yourself of how far you’ve come. Give yourself credit for navigating such a tough situation.

Approach Them with a Smile

Approach Them with a Smile I’m not asking you to go up and hug them, but approach the person with a normal, genuine smile. It implies you’re fine, happy and moving on with your life in a positive direction and that you’re a grown up.

***

When you beam with a sincere smile, you’re not only radiating confidence but also showing grace. Facing someone who has caused you pain with such poise can be incredibly empowering. Remember, a smile is your armor—it projects strength, not vulnerability. Let this moment demonstrate how much you've grown. Allowing your smile to lead the way can set the tone for a calm, collected interaction, and it might even catch them off guard. Keep it light and breezy; there's no need to delve into heavy conversation. With your smile, you tell a story of resilience and self-assuredness.

Say Hello

If appropriate, say hello to them. Nothing elaborate, just a friendly hello will do the job just fine. You can say “How are you?” if you like, but don’t feel the need to start a conversation. You can be cordial without making it seem like you’re totally over what they did to you.

***

When you bump into them, it's okay to keep it brief. A simple smile and nod can acknowledge their presence without inviting further interaction. Remember, your greeting doesn't mean you've forgiven the hurt they caused—it's merely a gesture of maturity. Keep your tone neutral; there's no need to display warmth or coldness. This approach can help you maintain your composure and show that you're in control of your emotions.

Don’t Linger

If someone really hurt you, don’t linger around them, pretending that it’s okay for them to do what they did and just walk all over you. After being cordial, move on and proceed ahead. It implies you’re not only physically moving on, but emotionally too.

***

It's essential to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being. Hold your head high and embrace the strength within you to walk away from negativity. This act of self-care reflects self-respect and the courage to honor your emotions. Remember, you deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion. Surround yourself with positivity and those who uplift you. Each step you take away from that person is a step towards a healthier, happier you.

Be Proud of Yourself

You should be proud of yourself that you’ve finally faced the person. If they made it impossible to just walk away from them and you had to talk to them for more than a minute, be proud that you didn’t break down crying. This is the moment you’re able to start moving on and let go of the pain they caused you.

Let It Go

Lastly, now that you’ve seen this person who hurt you, it is time to let it go. The hardest part of suffering hurt is not being without the person after they hurt you, but seeing them after they did, such as in a friend or relationship breakup. Let go that things didn’t work out and move ahead with your life. It isn’t easy, but is finally now possible.

Seeing someone who hurt you for the first time is one of the hardest things to do. If someone has ever hurt you, what tips do you have to handle this situation the right way?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Thanks. I dread the day I\'ll see both my exes (and we live in a rather small town so it\'s inevitable). I had the plan on what to do in my head,and you covered everything I think!

I still get upset thinking about it. We broke up 7 yrs ago and after a month he came into my work to buy his new girlfriend lingerie... I hid in the backroom. Months later his mum came into work, she was rude (as always), she asked why we broke up and I told her that I found compromising pics on his camera with multiple older men. Oh the look on her face!!!! Not true of course, I just couldn\'t tell her he was an asshole with a drug problem. Lol

My abusive ex is now dating a friend of my new bf and they are a rather tight circle. So we are essentially in the same friend group. It’s hard seeing ppl I like and respect not view this person the same way I do. Any advice?

Hi Heather, Great advice ! Thanks! Blessings!!!!!!!

But what would you do if your ex contacts you after almost a year and tells you he wants to see u, drink a coffee be4 he leaves the country again. Would you meet him? I am confused. He hurt me alot in the past...i thnk it\'s the temptation of seeing he regrets me as a gf. Dunno what 2 do.

This really will come in handy when I see this person for the first time since they hurt me. I know it will hurt me deeply and I\'m so afraid old feelings will come back. it sickens me that they still have some control over me.

Meg.. Sorry for you!! Long time ago I ran into my first boyfriend with my fat body and messy bed head. His girlfriend stared at me and he gave me a dirty look and said to me he is too good for me that\'s why he dumped me. I sweared to myself it will never happen to me again. 9 months ago I walked away from my boyfriend and stop answering his call and text me. One time he came to see me I hide in the freezer. And three weeks ago, I was talking to my mom I accidentially answer his call. I agree to met him I smile, I look sexy and I keep my conversation short . He said baby I like new you, sexy hot and confident. When you moved on you don\'t really care him act confident but polite. That\'s so cool to see how much he want you back. Be prepared, you never know who you ran into. Could be your ex or your boss.

i think it's totally fine to hide from them if you're not ready for that confrontation or saying hi and smiling, it doesn't mean you're not over them or you're still hurt, it means you're done dealing with their shit , no need to sugarcoat feelings , if you don't want to talk walk away , doesn't make you weak nor cowardly.

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