There are so many lesbian stereotypes out there because so many people like to categorize lesbians. Not only are there “types” but there are also theories that come along with it.
Some people believe lesbians were violated as young women, haven’t found the right man, or are just plain man-haters. Some have been violated, some aren’t the biggest fans of men, and of course, they haven’t found the right man, they like women HELLO!
Then there’s the topic of sex. Most people believe how lesbians have sex doesn’t count because a penis isn’t involved. That when a strap-on or dildo are used, it means that they are trying to have a penis because that is what is missing. On the contrary, it’s just another way to please their partners. To stimulate the clit and vagina. Sex doesn’t have to include penetration. It can be classified differently for each person. Kissing, touching, licking, penetration can all be considered sex to an individual. However, no matter how you classify it doesn’t mean one is right or wrong over another.
There’s also the stigma that there’s only “butch” and “femme”. That each couple must have one or the other. That there must be a “man” in the relationship. These thoughts are not true. Just like any sexual identity, you like who you like. Sometimes you change the gender you like for that one specific person. That’s everyone’s own decision. Remember sexuality is fluid, sometimes it changes. That’s just a fact.
Here’s a list of the most popular “types” of lesbians that both lesbians themselves along with most people use:
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PILLOW PRINCESS
A lesbian who likes to lay back and receive all the pleasure without reciprocating. Sometimes believed to be straight but wanting the pleasure.
The term "Pillow Princess" is a lesbian stereotype that describes someone who is believed to be straight, but enjoys receiving pleasure without reciprocating it. This term is often used in a derogatory manner, and implies that the person is not a "real" lesbian.
The term is often used to describe someone who is not comfortable with their sexuality or who is not open about it. It can also be used to describe someone who is not interested in exploring their own sexuality, or who is not interested in exploring different sexual activities. It can also be used to describe someone who is not interested in exploring the emotional aspects of a relationship.
The term "Pillow Princess" can be seen in many online conversations and forums, and is often used to describe someone who is not interested in exploring their own sexuality or who is not open about it. It can also be used to describe someone who is not interested in exploring different sexual activities or who is not interested in exploring the emotional aspects of a relationship.
Femme Aka Lipstick Lesbian
A lesbian who is very feminine. Think of a girly girl. Your typical idea of the opposite of butch.
Femme aka Lipstick Lesbians are often characterized by their love for fashion, makeup, and maintaining a distinctly feminine appearance. They may enjoy donning dresses, high heels, and elaborate hairstyles that celebrate their womanliness. This stereotype, however, is much more than skin deep—it’s about an embrace of traditional femininity within the lesbian identity. While "lipstick lesbian" can sometimes be used reductively, many femmes take pride in subverting expectations; they fuse their sexual identity seamlessly with their love for all things conventionally 'girly'. Nonetheless, their preferences for appearance don't define their strength or the depth of their character.
Frequently asked questions
Oh boy, this one's a classic! A 'Pillow Princess' is a lesbian who prefers to receive pleasure rather than give it. Think of someone who loves lounging and being pampered—yeah, that’s the idea!
Yep, there totally is! The opposite of a 'Pillow Princess' would be someone who enjoys giving pleasure more than receiving it. Terms can vary, but sometimes people refer to them as 'Stone Butch' or 'Touch-Me-Not'.
A 'Touch-Me-Not' lesbian is someone who prefers to focus on giving pleasure to their partner and doesn't want to be physically touched in return. It's all about the giving for them!
Well, it really depends on the individual! Some lesbians love using dildos, while others may not be into it at all. It’s all about personal preference and what feels good for each person.
Absolutely, and they can be quite varied. Some other stereotypes include the 'Butch' lesbian, who is more masculine-presenting, and the 'Femme' lesbian, who is more feminine. Of course, stereotypes are just that—stereotypes. People are diverse and can’t be neatly categorized!
Butch
A lesbian who has more masculine characteristics. The ones where people so classlessly try to "guess" their gender. Your stereotypical image of a lesbian.
Chapstick
A lesbian who is in between a butch and femme. She can dress up or down, she is girly while also butch.
The term chapstick lesbian is often used affectionately within the community to describe flexibility and fluidity in gender expression. These women find comfort in both traditionally feminine and masculine roles. For the chapstick lesbian, it's not uncommon to switch from wearing a dress and lipstick one day to jeans and a baseball cap the next. The beauty of this label lies in its celebration of spectrum and personal identity, liberating individuals from rigid categories and allowing them to embrace their multifaceted nature.
Baby Lesbian
A lesbian who is recently out of the closet. Maybe she's young, maybe she's older and finally admitted her true self. Whatever the case, she hasn't been an open lesbian long.
Being a baby lesbian comes with its own set of unique experiences and challenges. There's a whole new universe of queer culture to explore, from flirting etiquette to understanding the nuanced spectrum of lesbian identities. This period is often marked by both excitement and vulnerability, as she grapples with her new identity and how it shapes her relationships with family, friends, and romantic interests. It's a time for growth, self-discovery, and finding her place within the LGBTQ+ community.
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Gold Star Lesbian
A lesbian who has only been with women. Never once tried to be with a man sexually. She knew from the start what she wanted which is awesome!
Hasbian
A woman who use to identify as a lesbian but now is straight. There are numerous reasons she could have turned straight, but whatever the case, the hasbian is currently not dating girls.
LUG: Lesbian until Graduation
I think that’s self-explanatory.
This phrase is often used to describe a woman who experiments with same-sex relationships during her college years but reverts to heterosexual relationships after graduation. The implication here is that these relationships or sexual encounters are merely a phase or a result of the exploratory and often liberal environment found in academic settings, rather than a true reflection of one's sexual orientation. However, this term can be seen as dismissive of the fluid nature of sexuality and does not account for the genuine experiences of identity exploration that many undergo during their college years.
Touch Me Not
A lesbian who likes to give all the pleasure but not being touched in return. Sometimes these are the ones who have been abused previously because they want the control now.
There are many more “types” but these are the most commonly used. If you want to continue learning about more, just do a search for it. Most are pretty hilarious if I say so myself. It's crazy the stereotypes that spread about people not just in the LGBTQ+ community but also the hetero community!
