So, your best friend has a boyfriend and the relationship is getting serious. You want to be happy for her, and in your heart you know they’re a good match. But at the same time, you might feel a twinge of jealousy. Maybe the two of you used to do everything together, but lately she’s been MIA. It’s a frustrating, difficult situation, but there are ways to stop being jealous of your friend’s relationship.
1. Get to the Root of Your Jealousy
To stop being jealous of your friend’s relationship, you have to get to the root of the jealousy. It's important to understand exactly why you're feeling this way. Are you jealous because you're not able to spend as much time with your friend, or do you feel jealous because you haven't found the love of your life.
2. Be Positive about Your Future
If your friend’s in a happy place, yet you feel your life is chaotic, this can also trigger feelings of jealousy. You won’t overcome jealousy overnight, but if you're positive about your future, it'll be easier to be happy for your friend. In the past, you and your friend might have achieved different milestones at the same time. But as you become older, you might start to move in different directions at different points in your lives. Just because your friend was the first to develop a serious relationship doesn't mean you won't find love in the future.
3. Accept That Your Relationship is Changing
The fact that you're jealous doesn't make you a bad person. Quite the contrary, you might simply be having a hard time accepting the change in your relationship. Understand, however, that people don’t remain the same forever. The same way you’re jealous of your friend’s relationship, there might have been times when she's been jealous of you for other reasons.
4. Widen out and Get to Know Other People
If you’re having a hard time accepting your friend’s relationship and you're feeling jealous, you can take your mind off your problems by getting to know other people. You and your friend might have a close relationship, but this doesn't mean you can't develop relationships with other people as well. If your friend has plans with her boyfriend for the night, call other friends and go to a movie or invite them to your house for a game night.
5. Focus on What You Have
Then again, if you're jealous because your friend has a relationship and you don't, it helps to focus on what you do have. In all likelihood, you might have qualities or advantages that your friend doesn’t. Write down a list of everything you do have. This can help you feel better about not being in a relationship.
6. Learn How to Rely on Yourself
If you can learn how to become more independent, it might be easier to adjust to your friend’s new relationship. At the end of the day, you're your own person. Therefore, you don't need your best friend to hold your hand in social settings and you don't need their approval when buying things for yourself. Sure, it’s nice having this person by your side. But this is an opportunity to learn to stand on your own.
7. Let Her Know How You Feel
You might be embarrassed to talk to your friend about your jealousy, but talking can help you feel better. This is especially true if you feel your friend has been neglecting you lately. Chances are, she doesn't even know how you feel. But once she becomes aware of your feelings, the two of you can schedule some quality time together.
As much as you try to suppress feelings of jealousy, it can rear its ugly head and take over. Just know that you’re not a terrible person. It’s a common emotion that you can overcome. What has helped you overcome jealousy?