If you’ve ever had someone hurt you, chances are seeing someone that hurt you for the first time again is one of the hardest things you’ll go through. We’ve all had those moments where we’re out having the perfect day, just going for a walk, browsing through our favorite store, or buying some groceries, and we look up only to see someone that has hurt us greatly. A pain shoots through your heart and you want to run and flee, yet lash out angrily at the same time. It is a hard rush of emotions to deal with, as I’m sure many of you know. I’ve been there, like many of you, so here are some ways I’d like to share for how to handle seeing someone that hurt you from your past. Don’t cry, run or yell, but instead, try these tips.
1. Breathe
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For starters, when first seeing someone that hurt you from your past, stop and take a deep breath. Give yourself a break and accept that you’re seeing them and going to have to deal with certain emotions. Realize that this was bound to happen sooner or later, and take a deep breath before you proceed.
2. Don’t Hide from Them
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Whatever you do, don’t hide behind a shelf or display, hoping they won’t see you. Though it might work, it might not, and then you’ll just be embarrassed. Plus, seeing them can actually help you move on. You’ll be able to deal with emotions you might have pushed away and finally be able to move on.
3. Approach Them with a Smile
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I’m not asking you to go up and hug them, but approach the person with a normal, genuine smile. It implies you’re fine, happy and moving on with your life in a positive direction and that you’re a grown up.
4. Say Hello
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If appropriate, say hello to them. Nothing elaborate, just a friendly hello will do the job just fine. You can say “How are you?” if you like, but don’t feel the need to start a conversation. You can be cordial without making it seem like you’re totally over what they did to you.
5. Don’t Linger
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If someone really hurt you, don’t linger around them, pretending that it’s okay for them to do what they did and just walk all over you. After being cordial, move on and proceed ahead. It implies you’re not only physically moving on, but emotionally too.
6. Be Proud of Yourself
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You should be proud of yourself that you’ve finally faced the person. If they made it impossible to just walk away from them and you had to talk to them for more than a minute, be proud that you didn’t break down crying. This is the moment you’re able to start moving on and let go of the pain they caused you.
7. Let It Go
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Lastly, now that you’ve seen this person who hurt you, it is time to let it go. The hardest part of suffering hurt is not being without the person after they hurt you, but seeing them after they did, such as in a friend or relationship breakup. Let go that things didn’t work out and move ahead with your life. It isn’t easy, but is finally now possible.
Seeing someone who hurt you for the first time is one of the hardest things to do. If someone has ever hurt you, what tips do you have to handle this situation the right way?
Frequently Asked Questions
- How should I act if I run into someone who hurt me in the past?
- It's completely understandable to feel uneasy. Take a deep breath, stay calm, and try to maintain a polite distance. You don't owe them any interaction. Just be true to yourself and your feelings.
- Why does it feel so hard when I see someone who hurt me happy?
- It’s tough because it brings back memories and can feel unfair. Remember, their happiness doesn’t diminish your own journey or healing process. Focus on your well-being and personal growth.
- What if I keep seeing the person who hurt me around town?
- Frequent encounters can be really challenging. It's important to set personal boundaries. If it's affecting your mental health, consider talking to a trusted friend or a therapist about coping strategies.
- What does it mean if I keep dreaming about someone from my past who hurt me?
- Dreams can be our mind's way of processing unresolved feelings. It might help to explore these emotions by journaling or discussing them with someone you trust. Healing is a journey and it's okay to take your time.
- How can I stay strong when facing someone who hurt me?
- Focus on what makes you feel grounded and confident. Maybe it’s picturing a supportive friend by your side or reminding yourself of how far you’ve come. Give yourself credit for navigating such a tough situation.