Best friends fight. It’s just a natural part of having a close relationship with someone. While it definitely hurts, it doesn’t mean you aren’t besties anymore. However, you will have to resolve the issue so that you can both move forward and form new bonds. Whether it’s over something minor or something huge, using these steps can lead to both to the next step in your relationship in a friendly way.
1. Take a Day (or More) to Cool off
When you’re both angry with each other, it pays to take some time apart. That way you can both assess the damage to your relationship and cool off. If you keep at it without this chance, you could make things worse. Resolve not to see or talk to each other for a day or so and then come back to the issue with a fresh mind and a clear perspective. Often, that time apart will help you come to an agreement and go back to being besties.
2. Try to Change Your Point of View (at Least for a While)
I’m not suggesting that you back down on something that’s important to you or forget about being wrong, but you can take time to see things from your friend’s point of view. This can help you understand why you’re having the fight and assist you in resolving the issue compassionately so that you don’t decide to quit being friends.
3. Look to Other Friends to Mediate
Don’t air your best friend’s dirty laundry or say awful things about her, but talk to a neutral friend. This can help you get a handle on what’s going on and may even net you some advice that can help you settle the dispute. You never want to turn this into a tattling or gripe session because I’m assuming you want to go back to being friends and saying nasty things behind your friend’s back can do bad things to your relationship.
4. Sit down with Your Friend One-on-One
Maybe you meet for coffee or have dinner at your house. The point of this is to hash things out so that you can resolve your differences. If you tend to get angry and yell, home might be better. Make sure the two of you are alone and without a bunch of distractions so you can concentrate on the matter at hand.
5. Write a Letter to Your Friend if You Don’t Want to Talk
If either of you is resisting a face to face talk, consider writing your friend a letter instead. Tell her your point of view and offer suggestions of what you can do to get things back to normal. If you wronged your friend, be sure to offer an apology without a bunch of excuses and outline how you plan to do better in the future.
6. Come up with a Plan to Fix the Relationship
Working with your bestie, decide how you are going to move on from your fight. Decide how you will each behave in the future and what you can both do to prevent further fights. Agree to your part of the bargain and keep it up.
7. Remember Why You Became Friends in the First Place
Maybe you both love Netflix marathons or you were part of the same sorority in college. Whatever drew you to each other is likely still there. Spend some time remembering all your fun times together and the traits that make her a good friend. This will help you feel better about her and make it easier to make up.
Have you ever fought with your bestie? How did you resolve your fight?