All Women's Talk

7 Things a True Friend Should Not do ...

By Alison

There are some things a friend should not do, no matter what. True friends should always behave just as they would want to be treated; besides which, friendship is meaningless if you cross the line and do things a friend should not do. We've all known the kind of person who pretends to like you but then stabs you in the back, but here are some other things a friend should not do …

1 Steal Your Man

It's unethical to make a play for any man who is in a relationship, but there's something particularly nasty about doing that to a friend. You sure won't be friends for long if someone steals your man! Yes, we know that it´s his fault as well, but anyone who can do this is not your friend. Dating someone that a friend used to date is treading on dangerous ground as well – not many people would be cool with that.

2 Ask You to Lie

Another thing a friend should not do is ask you to lie. It might seem harmless, but could lead to you getting stuck in the middle of a difficult situation. Definitely don't get involved if they´re cheating and ask you to cover for them by telling their partner that you were with them. A real friend would not put you in that situation.

3 Owe You Money

Be very wary of lending money to a friend. Many friendships have suffered or died over unpaid debts. However good a friend you consider someone to be, there is always the risk that they will refuse to repay the money, or think that it doesn't have the same urgency as repaying a bank. You could then find yourself in the position of being short of cash yourself. If you take a loan from a friend, be sure to pay it back! Being a deadbeat? That's another of the things a friend should not do!

4 Talk behind Your Back

It's absolutely extraordinary how grown adults can behave as though they're still in high school, but bitchiness in the workplace or among groups of friends is sadly not uncommon. If one of your friends tells you that another said something unkind about you, either the third party is not behaving well, or the messenger is lying. Either way, you have a friend who isn't behaving like one. Behind-the-back gossip? Another thing a friend should not do!

5 Break a Confidence

This is definitely among the things a friend should not do (of course, the flipside of this is that there are some secrets that a friend should not ask you to keep). Something told in confidence should remain that way, and it is not for a friend to decide to share it with others. We have to know who we can trust, and having that trust betrayed is deeply hurtful.

6 Steal Your Ideas

We've all heard of the type of friend who imitates things you do or the way you dress, and it can be pretty irritating when you have a friend who appears to have no ideas of their own. What is worse, though, is a friend who steals your ideas to your detriment, such as a work friend who passes them off as their own. Any real friend would ask if they could use your ideas as inspiration, but wouldn´t take copying too far.

7 Neglect You

Finally, another thing that friends should not do is neglect each other. Sometimes we forget that friendships need nurturing as much as any other kind of relationship and don´t put the effort into keeping in touch, or organising get-togethers. This is one way to find that your friends have all drifted off. Friends don't ignore each other when they're in need of help, or only get in touch in between boyfriends.

There are plenty of things a friend should not do, and if you find yourself on the receiving end of most of the above you should re-evaluate the friendship and whether it's worth having. Some can probably be repaired if your friend is willing to accept that they have made mistakes. Others are a definite no-no. What other kind of thing do you consider that a friend should not do?

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