Being overly critical of oneself is very common amongst us ladies, and if you've ever wondered if you’re one of those super critical types, I've unearthed seven telling signs you are too hard on yourself so you can determine if you need to give yourself a break and lighten up, or if you’re pretty balanced when it comes to your expectations and have healthy beliefs.
1. Your Own Worst Critic
One of the hallmarks of a perfectionist and a sign you are too hard on yourself is if you are hypercritical of yourself and everything you do. I’m talking about dwelling on a mistake you made at work earlier this week or you’re humiliated from spotting a typo on a Facebook post. We are often our very worst critic, but if you find yourself frequently criticizing yourself and rehashing mistakes you made and how it made you feel, it’s definitely time to reevaluate your expectations and realize that it’s perfectly okay to make an error.
2. My Way or the Wrong Way
If your life defined by doing things the right way which is always your way, then that’s a good sign you’re a stickler and you can be unrealistic about your outlook on things. We all like to be right but if you’re adamant about doing things a certain way, your view on things is similar to that of a perfectionist and holding on to the belief that there is only one way to do things correctly will often lead to anger and frustration. There are lots of right ways to do things in life so don’t forget to let others take the wheel too!
3. Obsess Much?
This sign you are too hard yourself is similar to being hypercritical of yourself, but this indicates having a fixation with your mistakes and shortcomings. The truth is, everyone makes mistakes and no one is immune from having embarrassing moments! Obsessing over having toilet paper stuck on your wedges or forgetting to feed the parking meter and getting a ticket isn't the end of the world, and being preoccupied with these mishaps doesn't change anything!
4. Black & White
Looking at things in terms of absolutes with no grey areas is another one of the ways to tell you’re too critical of yourself. Life throws us lots of curve balls and many things rarely go as planned, so if you’re in the habit of setting and thinking in terms of absolute ideals, things will seldom go your way, and you’ll find tons of reasons to be mad at yourself and the world around you and that’s no way to live! I’m sure you can think of a time in your life when things weren't totally cut and dry but everything worked out anyway.
5. Fear Factor
Another one of the signs you’re a stickler is if you have a serious fear of failure and do everything in your power to avoid making mistakes in front of others. If you’re extremely apprehensive about accidentally revealing a fault or avoid making blunders at all costs, it’s an extremely difficult and uneasy way to live your life! Slip-ups are a part of life and it’s what makes us all human, people won’t think any different of you just because you made a boo boo, they do it all the time too!
6. Constantly Contemplating
One of the sure signs you are too hard on yourself is if you spend copious amounts of time and energy going over things that went wrong and what you could've done differently. This is a little different from obsessing as you’re replaying events in your mind and ruminating about what transpired. If you have a habit of doing this, allow yourself only a certain amount of time to think of a Plan B for next time, then you’re not allowed to think about it anymore.
7. Never Good Enough
The last of the signs that you are too hard on yourself and being overcritical is if nothing you do is ever good enough regardless of what others do or say. Do you spend endless hours trying to perfect a project for work or presentation for school when others in the group are perfectly happy with the outcome? Give yourself a break, literally! Nothing is rarely perfect and you’re spending your life trying to avoid things you can’t always control.
There are lots of signs you are too hard yourself and I think many of us can relate to some of these signs. If you identified with the majority of these indicators, take small steps in trying to let others take control and permit yourself to be human every once in awhile! Constantly worrying about making mistakes or thinking of how to avoid a mistake doesn't guarantee anything so focus all that negative energy into being confident in your abilities and allowing yourself to be you!
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