All Women's Talk

8 Occasions when Its Smart to Say No ...

By Alison

Saying no can be an incredibly difficult thing to do. We are conditioned by society to make ourselves agreeable to others, and many people can be very persuasive when it comes to getting their own way. So we often find ourselves reluctantly doing things we don´t want to do, or even dislike, even when saying no is what we really want to do. Here are some situations when to say no.

Table of contents:

  1. You´re not ready
  2. You´re busy
  3. You´re being pressured
  4. It´s not right for you
  5. Taking advantage
  6. You´re not capable
  7. It´s too stressful
  8. You´re not interested

1 You´re Not Ready

There´s a lot of cultural and individual pressure by guys to have sex. It doesn´t matter if you´re a teen or in your forties, if you´re a virgin or if you´re experienced - if you´re not ready to make the relationship physical then don´t. This is definitely one situation when to say no. You should only ever start a sexual relationship with someone if the time is right for YOU.

2 You´re Busy

Some people end up taking on far too many responsibilities because they find it impossible to say no. This can happen an awful lot when you do voluntary work (whatever you do is never enough), but is also common in the work environment. Don´t take on more than you can reasonably handle; you´ll only get stressed and won´t be able to do a good job.

3 You´re Being Pressured

Saying no is definitely the smart thing to do when someone pressures you to do something you don´t want to do, or to do something really negative. Peer pressure can lead you to do really stupid things like drink to excess, or take drugs. Don´t let this happen to you.

4 It´s Not Right for You

Don´t be afraid to say no to a situation that is not right for you. It´s wise to listen to your instincts; if something doesn´t feel right, then it probably isn´t. For example, say your parents want you to study a particular subject, but you have no interest in it and know you would be miserable in that career. Follow your own path and don´t get stuck in something you´re going to hate.

5 Taking Advantage

It´s a sad fact that some people are users. They could be friends, relatives, colleagues. There are a lot of people who pretend to be your friend, but only ever ask ´favours´ and never do anything in return. Say no to people who take advantage of your friendship or good nature.

6 You´re Not Capable

Sometimes saying no is the smart thing to do for the following reason: you´re being asked to do something that is not within your capabilities. That doesn´t mean that you should never try something new, but we all have our limitations! So don´t be afraid to admit that you can´t manage something – it´s better to decline than make a mess of it.

7 It´s Too Stressful

If you´re asked to do something that is going to make you stressed, then don´t be afraid to say no. We all have busy lives, with a lot of commitments, and there is no point in adding to our stress. Our primary responsibility is to ourselves – and even if we have responsibilities towards others, we need to care for ourselves first in order to be able to look after them.

8 You´re Not Interested

Have you ever been invited to a party or other event that you´re just not interested in attending, yet feel obliged to accept? It´s not rude to decline an invitation; in fact it´s more courteous to not waste anyone´s time by accepting when you know very well that you won´t enjoy it. Politely answer that it´s kind of them to offer, but it´s not for you.

Knowing when to say no can be difficult to judge, but bear in mind that you´re not obliged to do anything you don´t want to. Have you ever found that refusing a request is just impossible for you, and have you ever got yourself into an awkward situation by not saying no?

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