Dealing with a controlling parent can be difficult sometimes, since it can make you feel like you’re in a jail cell. Because of that, it can leave you struggling to break free and gain your own independence. You may also feel stuck between what you want and what your parent wants for you, but with a controlling parent, you usually have to take the high road, since they don’t realize how their behavior is affecting your well-being. You can begin the process of emerging from their controlling ways and living a full and independent life if you just pay attention to these next few lines. Here are a few very helpful tips on dealing with a controlling parent that will help you escape from the grasp of their controlling ways:
Table of contents:
- consider their behavior
- separate yourself emotionally from your past
- talk about this problem with your parents
- recognize your own personhood
- change your behavior
- draw some clear boundaries
- look for cooperation from the rest of your family
1 Consider Their Behavior
One of the best tips on dealing with a controlling parent I could give you is to tell you to try to consider their behavior first. Just ask yourself why they are acting this way. Are they feeling lonely, are they grieving or are they having an anxiety disorder? If issues of control have been ongoing since your childhood, then this may be the sign of a more serious problem.
2 Separate Yourself Emotionally from Your past
Just try to separate yourself emotionally from your past, since you are not responsible for the way your parent treated you as a child. They’ve done what they thought was best for you but you are responsible for the way you allow your parent to treat you as an adult. Try to confront your past and separate yourself from a controlling past in order to develop more positive values and a stronger sense of independence.
3 Talk about This Problem with Your Parents
A lot of parents are overprotective and in most cases, they don’t even realize it, since they do it simply because they love you. Sometimes though, your parents may be overreacting, so try to talk to them about this problem and tell them how their attitude is hurting you, how their controlling ways are affecting your well-being and how you would like to gain more independence.
4 Recognize Your Own Personhood
Just keep in mind that you are a person, just like everyone else, and that you deserve to have your own identity. You can make your own choices and you can assume responsibility for what you are doing. If you find yourself adopting your parents’ likes or dislikes, try to consider why you do so.
5 Change Your Behavior
If your parent is very controlling and they don’t change their behavior, even after you talked to them, then the best thing you can do is to change your behavior. For example, if your parent calls you too frequently throughout the day, tell them that you have to limit the number of calls, such as one call a day.
6 Draw Some Clear Boundaries
In order to deal in a more efficient way with your controlling parent, you should draw some clear boundaries and establish which behaviors you will accept from them and which ones you won’t tolerate. Just refuse to argue when they criticize or blame, calmly state your point of view on things and move on.
7 Look for Cooperation from the Rest of Your Family
Another very helpful thing you can do if you want to learn how to deal with a controlling parent is to look for cooperation from the rest of your family. Just get your siblings together and tell your controlling parent that you won’t participate in their games anymore and that they don’t need to try to control every step you take, since you are a responsible and independent adult who knows what you are doing.
Even though controlling parents can be difficult sometimes, you still have to learn how to deal with them, so you can avoid any potential and unwanted conflicts. Do any of you have a controlling parent? How do you deal with them? Do you know any other helpful tips on dealing with a controlling parent? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section!
Sources: wikihow.com, psychcentral.com, livestrong.com, everydaylife.globalpost.com
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