Don't let “no” guilt get to you by learning some ways to feel comfortable saying no. While it may take a few tries to truly feel better saying the big N O, it's actually good for you. Saying yes to things that you hate or that consume all your time isn't making you feel any better. Instead, try these ways to feel comfortable saying no to get more control over your life.
Table of contents:
- 1. Practice with a Friend
- 2. Provide a Legitimate Reason
- 3. Remind Yourself You're Important Too
- 4. Offer a Beneficial Compromise
- 5. Thank Them for Asking
- 6. Suggest Someone else
- 7. Know They'll Accept Your Answer
1 Practice with a Friend
If the thought of telling someone no makes you anxious, try practicing with a friend. Have them create a list of common questions you might be asked and practice getting over your anxiety. Believe it or not, this is one of the best ways to feel comfortable saying no. To make it more realistic, ask your friend to be pushy so so you're better at declining in a variety of situations.
2 Provide a Legitimate Reason
Sometimes you don't want to say no because the other person wants a reason. Take a moment and provide a legitimate reason. You'll feel more comfortable because there's a real reason for saying no. The other person will feel better because they know you truly can't help them at the moment. It's a win-win for both parties.
3 Remind Yourself You're Important Too
If you don't say no on a regular basis, people will take advantage. Suddenly, you have no time for the things that are important to you. If you ever feel uncomfortable after someone asks if you'll do something, mentally remind yourself that your needs are important too. You're not being selfish, you're taking care of yourself so you can take better care of others later.
4 Offer a Beneficial Compromise
Imagine being able to say no without actually saying no. Take a few minutes to think about what you were asked. If possible, offer a beneficial compromise. For instance, if they need help with a project at work, say you'll help if they'll help you with a project of your own. Or, if a friend needs help moving, offer to help for a set period. You get to say yes, but you also get to say no to the original proposal.
5 Thank Them for Asking
You don't want to make your friends and family feel like you don't care. This is a major reason people say yes even when they don't have the time or ability to help. You can say no without sounding mean or disrespectful. Simply append a “thank you for asking” to the no. It lets them know you appreciate them thinking of you, but you're just not available right now.
6 Suggest Someone else
I always used to say yes to people when I knew they really needed my help with something. I'd let my own things slide to help out. I finally realized, I didn't have to be the only one to help them. Instead, I started suggesting others who I knew were free. I didn't have to say yes and the person still got what they needed.
7 Know They'll Accept Your Answer
This one takes a little practice and some mental pep-talks. Before you say no to someone, know beyond a shadow of a doubt they'll accept your answer without a single qualm. You'll sound more confident and sincere when you say no. The result, people really will be more accepting and not argue with you.
No matter what reasons you have for always saying yes, the truth is, you don't always have the time. You have to say no sometimes or you'll end up stressed out. Instead, learn how to get more comfortable with the word no. How do you handle saying no?
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