All Women's Talk

Proven Tips for Girls Who Need to Dump a Frenemy ...

By Jennifer

Frenemies are just the worst! They insult you, masking it in a back-handed compliment; they make you feel bad about yourself instead of lifting you up; they're rotten and terrible and you've got to dump them! But how? Here are 7 steps to getting rid of them, without making your life more difficult in the process.

1 Expand Your Circle

The first step in getting rid of the rotten is to expand your social circle, so you can see what real friends are like - supportive and fun! Once your circle of friends is a bit bigger and more diverse, you'll find the strength to move to step 2.

2 Stop Texting/calling First

If you're the one who usually initiates contact with the frenemy, stop. Stop texting and calling first, and see if she tries to contact you. If she doesn't, then you might have solved the problem right there.

3 Cut Them off Social Media

The "unfriend" option was created for a reason - to rid yourself of the nasty comments and slightly stalker-y stuff of frenemies. If you have to, you can even block the bitch. Don't give her a platform to be nasty to you.

4 Be Prepared, and Be Honest

Most frenemies don't react well to being dumped, so take a deep breath and be prepared for nastiness. If she asks why you've dumped her, and she seems to be serious, tell her the truth: you've just grown apart, and you don't really want the negativity.

5 Take the High Road

If she does get (and stay) nasty with you, resist the urge to be nasty back. Always take the high road, no matter how difficult it is. You could regret some of the things you say or text, but you'll never regret being patient and kind to someone who didn't always deserve it. If nothing else, you'll take away any ammo she might have, if she tries to turn your mutual friends against you.

6 Don't Gossip

Which brings me to another bit of advice that'll be hard to follow, but that will really help: don't gossip with your other friends about the frenemy. If they ask what's up, tell them that you've outgrown the friend and that you really don't want to talk about it. Keep it simple, and don't re-hash the details. If they know this frenemy, chances are, they won't be surprised at the breach.

7 Get the Parents Involved

If you're still in school, and things get really nasty, and it's distracting you from your school work, she might have crossed the line from frenemy to bully, and it's time to get your parents involved. If they don't know what's going on, they can't help. Tell them, and if you can, show them examples of the texts she's sent and the cruel comments on social media.

Frenemies and bullies are awful, but they can be dumped. What other advice do you have to share?

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