7 Characteristics of a Controlling Parent ...

It’s natural for a parent to guide their child as they grow but some parents just overdue it, so here are a few characteristics of a controlling parent that you should consider. A controlling parent usually oversteps the boundaries of how much control is reasonable and necessary to help their child turn into a confident and independent adult. Clinical psychologists say that controlling parents have an authoritarian style of parenting and they often tend to display behaviors that stem from their own insecurities. Having some measure of control is important to any parent but that guidance can sometimes go too far. Here are 7 characteristics of a controlling parent that you should consider:

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They Are Perfectionists

One of the main characteristics of a controlling parent is that they are classic perfectionists. They often tend to apply the same perfectionist tendencies towards raising their little one as they do to their own lives. This leads to over-controlling and over-protective parents who create a very rigid structure for their child.

They Always Know What’s Best for Their Kids

A controlling parent would say that they always know what’s best for their kids, since they believe that their way is the only correct way. They often tend to do things for their children because they think that they do it better and they will give their kids little freedom to think for themselves. As they grow, these kids will feel resentful, powerless and even not good enough.

Frequently asked questions

They Have High Expectations

As I said earlier, controlling parents are classic perfectionists, so it’s only natural for them to have high expectations. They will put a lot of pressure on their kids by setting unrealistic goals for them to reach, like getting perfect scores on all their exams. This attitude may lead a teen to act rebelliously or they might even become depend on their parents to solve all their problems for them since they lack initiative.

They Are Manipulative

Some controlling parents can be manipulative and they can make their kids believe that their love and affection is conditional. A controlling parent will often use love as a reward for a success and harsh punishments for perceived failures. Those illogical punishments will make their kids feel abandoned, so they might live in a state of ongoing fear of abandonment. Also, a controlling parent will use their love and affection as bribes to convince their kids to do what they want.

They Control All Their Children’s Relationships

A controlling parent will try to control all their children’s relationships. They will tell them who they can and cannot hang out with, they make sure to be around when their kids’ friends come over and they dominate all conversations. If their kid is on the phone, they will try to hear what their kid is talking about and they will have no problem with invading their privacy.

They Make Their Kids Doubt Themselves

A controlling parent can really affect a child’s self-esteem in the long term. They will often make their kids doubt themselves, since they nitpick everything they do, from the way they walk, talk or even how chew their food. Even as an adult, someone who has a controlling parent will feel like a 10 year old when they are around them.

They Compete for Their Child’s Affection

Some controlling parents may even compete for their children’s affection. They will try to slowly drive them away from their friends or even from other family members, they may try to isolate their kids by not allowing them to play with other children and if they feel that they are being replaced, they might become even more manipulative just to be able to control their kids and to make sure that they will solely depend on them.

Sometimes, a controlling parent can even use force and intimidation to ensure obedience. When their kids are young, they might use yelling or different punishments to make their kids do what they want but as their kids grow up, they might resort to monetary control or emotional support to control them. Do you know any other characteristics of a controlling parent? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section!

Sources:
everydaylife.globalpost.com
ehow.com
jaber3000.blogspot.ro

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Yeah parents should want their kids to have high expectations but when everything you do isn't good enough and it's a constant fight of why won't you accept me? Or why isn't anything i do good enough? You have enough of their behaviors. Sorry.

1, 2 and 3 I don't really agree with. Kids need boundaries and structure. They need someone like a parent to instill in them to have high expectation. It's all about moderation too bc too much can suffocate them as well. But I think the worse kind of parenting is lack of and letting your child do as they want say what they want. I'm sure we all have met kids even adults who could have used some parenting.

this article is true in some ways, my mum didn't do any of this stuff for me she just let me do what i want i was always the last thing she'd think of, especially when it came to men, when i had my first child i disowned her completely because i don't want the same for my child.

This article is so true

Maybe they just care? Maybe they just don't want you to make the same mistakes as them? Maybe they love you and want to protect you?

Mother. . . Jks x

I have to agree with you ladies. I don't agree with most of this as well. Yes, us mothers should have boundaries. Specially after they have grown and it's more about their loves after we are done raising them. But... I am pretty strict with my children, controlling no. And my two grown boys have turned out pretty darn good, so I will stick with what I know. I feel as though most parents are lazy and more focused on wanting to be the child's friend. And then they have no idea why their children can succeed in the real world. Or why they are still loving with them at the age of 30. And why their children have no clue about working for what they have. Being a good parent is hard work.

I think there is a fine line with these things. I always have had issues with my mom but lately my dad has been taking control to a whole new level. It wouldn't bother me as much but I'm less than a month away from being eighteen and he gave me a 9 o clock curfew on a Friday night. I've never even had curfews before, I just know what is right and wrong. He also told me I'm not allowed to see my boyfriend of three years for two weeks. Not because we broke curfew, not cause he found out something bad about me, not because we were disrespectful, he just thinks I spend too much time with my bf and not enough with him. It sucks because I work on the farm for my dad, so he pays for a lot of my stuff and uses it Against me. Whenever I try to bring up getting another job he ignores me or makes up some lame excuse as to why I can't. It's getting bad. I can't talk to him about anything because he thinks he's always right and my thoughts and ideas are just stupid. I hopefully will be moving out this summer. The amount of stress my parents have caused me to live with is really difficult at times. It's hard to explain how manipulative they are, it doesn't sound as bad as it really is...

Look up Borderline Personality Disorder. "Maybe" it's because they have a psychological issue that needs attention. "Maybe" setting a child up for a lifetime of therapy is quite the opposite of caring.

Haha yes

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