7 Biggest Misconceptions Most People Have about Bisexual Women ...

By Diana • Jun 15, 2013

Sadly, misconceptions about bisexual women abound –and they’re circulated by both straight and LGBT communities. Though I’ve dated women exclusively (except that one time I ‘went out’ with a guy –a very gay guy– in eighth grade) for years, some of my best friends and exes self-identify as bisexual. They’re routinely asked when their ‘phase’ will end and how many sexual encounters they’ve had. Occasionally, an exceptionally rude person (usually an acquaintance) will tell them that they shouldn’t date, period, because they’re greedy and will hurt everyone around them. Crazy, right? Well, I’ve had enough of the misconceptions about bisexual women. Here are seven of the most common fallacies, along with why they’re so very wrong.

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1. Bisexuals Can’t Be Monogamous

One of the most common misconceptions about bisexual women is that they ALL want to be with both sexes. One is never enough. But according to the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force [1], the majority of bisexuals in committed relationships are monogamous. Surprised? You shouldn’t be. A woman’s sexuality is completely separate from the types of relationships she has. Now, we’re all different. Some lesbians and straight women date around without commitment. But that doesn’t mean others can’t be monogamous!

2. Bisexuals Cheat

When dating a person (whether bisexual or not), you should communicate with each other to establish relationship rules and boundaries. If a bisexual-identified woman does cheat in a monogamous relationship, that demonstrates the type of person she is, and should not be taken as a reflection on the sexuality as a whole. And just because a bisexual woman is with another woman, it doesn’t mean she’s also on the prowl for a guy. A bisexual can enjoy the touch of both the male body and the female body, but connect emotionally with one person.

3. Bisexuals Are Greedy

If ‘bisexual’ comes to mind when you think of someone who is greedy, you need to reassess your way of thinking. To label a person ‘greedy’ because of whom they’re attracted to is wrong, especially when so very many issues in this world could be solved if we all did and gave more (and that’s completely unrelated to sexual preference!).

4. Bisexuals Just Want Attention

You know those two or three college-age girls at the club who make out with each other to titillate men? Chances are, they don’t identify as bisexual; if they do, they’re not indicative of the sexuality as a whole. In my experience, you’re much more likely to see a bisexual woman playing pool at the back of the bar with her partner or mingling with the crowd than ripping her top off and downing free shots.

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5. Bisexuals Are Confused

In a 1995 survey conducted by author and researcher Paula Rust, one in four lesbians believed that bisexuality didn’t exist. We may have come a long way since then, but blatant biphobia continues to exist in both LGBT and heterosexual communities. Take a peek at the comments section on almost any bisexual-themed article and you’ll find that everyone seems less-than-tolerant of those who find both sexes attractive. Even today, women face waves of unfounded criticism for identifying as bisexual. According to a 10-year study [2] published in 2008, 92% of bisexual-identified participants remained bisexual-identified over the course of the ten year period in which the study was conducted. That’s quite a long phase!

6. Bisexuals Are Privileged

Monogamous bisexual women face increased risks of domestic violence. Meanwhile, bisexuals as a whole suffer higher rates of depression and anxiety than the general population and are more likely to feel suicidal than any other orientation. The San Francisco Human Rights Commission [3] partly attributes these harrowing statistics to a lack of support systems for bisexual people –even in urban areas. While bisexuals who wed a partner of the opposite sex DO secure the rights and responsibilities of federally-recognized marriages, many bisexuals feel invisible in their own communities. On the other hand, bisexual women who date other women are often taken less seriously. Despite the idea that bisexuals get the best of both worlds, they often face unfair prejudice in both of them. And that’s hardly a privilege.

7. Bisexuals Want Threesomes

One of the most offensive things you can do to a bisexual woman –especially if she is in a relationship– is ask her to participate in a threesome. Never simply assume that a bisexual woman automatically wants to sleep with you and your boyfriend. And never, ever attempt to touch or kiss a bisexual woman without her permission because that is called assault.

These are 7 of the biggest misconceptions about bisexual women. Which ones have you or your friends encountered? Do you have any of your own ideas to add to the list? Let me know in the comments!

Sources:
[1] ngltf.org
[2] psych.utah.edu
[3] birequest.org

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • Randi

    2013-06-15T23:52:59.000Z

    I do find it offensive to bisexual women, and women in general, really, when people assume bisexuals look and act a certain way. It's just like the (incorrect) gay guy archetype with a lisp, and the hand gestures and the amazing fashion sense. Someone's sexual orientation doesn't directly have any effect on their appearance and mannerisms. Yet many people, even in 2013, are still saying things like 'she looks like she's gay/bi.' Ignorance at its finest, ladies ! (and gentlemen)
  • Kendra

    2013-06-15T21:24:28.000Z

    Well me beiin biisexual myself, iive seen that we're confused, we just want attention n others. But people stereotype us cus we liike both men n women.
  • Chantal

    2013-06-15T15:19:32.000Z

    But sometimes women date bisexual men(i know i have) so it would be a good idea
  • Gonzalo

    2015-04-24T20:50:00.068Z

    I'm dating with a bisexual girl but she is not so open to tell me directly. I think she is trying to hide her real sexual identity. In ours first dates she told me that she used to have sex with men, women, threesome and orgies. But now that our relationship is getting more serious she is not so open to talk about it which makes me confused. I have had some wrong ideas like she wouldn't be satisfied if she is in a man/woman relationship because she has told me like 5 times that she likes women. Even the same night you told me 'I love you' she said, eventually I would like to have sex with a woman. That's confusing to me and makes me believe sometimes that all this bisexual misconceptions are not so wrong. I would like an advice about it, thanks ;)
  • Abee

    2013-06-16T03:11:39.000Z

    I hate when people don't put thought behind their assumptions. Thinking something doesn't make it true, something a lot of people don't seem to know.
  • Lisa

    2013-12-24T16:39:07.000Z

    I have had to deal with all of this. I have gotten so I stop talking to someone completely if they ask me to participate in a threesome. It ticks me off everyone assumes I will be a slut.
  • Reem94

    2013-06-16T20:38:24.000Z

    'Never touch or kiss a bisexual woman because... That is called assault!!' This made me laugh so badly! Can't imagine how someone could even do such a thing!
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