Ladies don't ignore these potential signs your friend is a frenemy! A frenemy is someone who pretends to be your friend but is actually your enemy. In my experience, it hasn't always been obvious that I was dealing with a frenemy. But if you are dealing with emotions like jealousy, inferiority and resentment on a semi-regular basis it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship. You may want to ignore the signs your friend is a frenemy, but it's better to face it now than later.
1 Gut Feeling
One of the signs your friend is a frenemy is the gut feeling you get that is screaming this person doesn't have your best interest at heart. Don't ignore your intuition when dealing with people; you have it for a reason. When you deny your gut feeling only to find out that it was right all along, you are denying yourself and not being honest with yourself. You deserve better, but you have to learn to trust your gut!
KynjTo this day my GUT has never steered me wrong! I l...
2 Not Happy for You
I have had people in my life that were okay being around me when life wasn't going so well for me, but as soon as something positive happened they couldn't be happy for me. I wanted them to celebrate with me, but instead they would bash what was going right for me or hate on my new found happiness, be it a person or event. A true friend will be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on, as well as someone to celebrate your success.
We all have opinions and that's fine. I know that you have heard the saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I need my friends to be honest with me, but I don't need the people close to me to be mean to me. If you have a "friend" who makes cruel or mean comments about you, whether it's to your face or behind your back, they aren't your friend.
4 Talks behind Your Back
Since we are on the subject, a friend won't talk about you behind your back. It seems like women are naturally inclined to gossip, really people are, but friendship should be built on trust and you can't trust a gossiper. A good rule is to not say anything about a person that you wouldn't say if they were standing next to you. I've been on both ends of this situation, being gossiped about and the one who gossiped, and it only leads to pain.
5 Criticizes You
This can be similar to making cruel comments but is slightly different. Have you noticed that no matter what you do it's never as good as your friend? Somehow they are always better than you and you just can't get things right. If this is the case, they are probably criticizing you and you should find a way to talk to them about it. If they are a friend, they will listen to you. If they aren't, don't be surprised if they dismiss what you have to say.
6 Competes with You
The first time I got a smart phone I made the mistake of posting it to my Facebook page because I was so excited. The next day I went to work and someone I thought was a friend came to my desk with the exact same phone and even the same phone case and color. She bought it because she never wanted me to have anything nicer than her and made sure I knew. This wasn't a one time thing, it was a pattern that I finally recognized as a twisted competition she had with me.
7 Self Centered
A friendship should be a two way street. You should be there for your friend and they should be there for you. A frenemy doesn't understand that and if you need something, don't be surprised if they aren't around. Or if they are around physically, don't be surprised if their thoughts aren't with you. I once had a frenemy who no matter what, could not listen to me talk about anything having to do with me and would always find a way to turn the conversation back towards herself. She was self-centered and not capable of being a caring friend.
8 Dirt Digger
"Hey remember that one time in college when you…" A frenemy loves to remind you of your failures and memories that should be left in the past. They love to dig up dirt because they aren't your friend, they are your enemy. A friend is someone who loves at all times, ladies.
9 Sabotage
A friend will want you to be the best version of yourself. A frenemy loves to sabotage your life. They will do this by getting you off your eating or workout plan, tempting you to spend money that you don't have, hating on your boyfriend who is great to you and more. They sabotage because they aren't your friend, they are your enemy.
I used to think that I didn't have enemies because I made it a point to love everyone, at least try to anyway. But the truth is that we all have to deal with enemies. There are people in this world who won't like you no matter what you do. Have you ever had to deal with a frenemy or bold faced enemy?
Kynj #1 To this day my GUT has never steered me wrong! I love this, its so accurate and on point. So many others need to hear this message and learn to trust their GUT! Rock on!
Raquel Yes, I have a friend that is an enemy and I want her out of my life for good already! Her jealousy over how the fact that guys at school always try and flirt and be friends with me angers her to no end! It actually scares me when I see the pure hatred she has for me in her eyes! She is a scary and mean person! That is why no guys ever like her unless she pays for them and shows off how much money she has!
Anja Who needs enemies when you have friends like these..
Kat Urgh. I've had a "friend" like that. She was somewhat nuts though... Big problems. Major victim mentality, major attention seeker/competitor, if I expressed interest in a guy she would also, even if already seeing someone (actually kissed a guy I was seeing - told me drunk, another time because he had offer to buy her a drink, since her fiancé wouldn't), everything had to be about her, and if it wasn't she would make it so... And so on and so forth. Talk about toxic friend! She would ask your advice, but if it wasn't what she wanted to hear she would blacklist you, then come back all "I'm sure you didn't mean to. Just say you're sorry." Etc etc etc. then after years of friendship, out of nowhere, turns around and goes "since we don't have much to do with each other, no offense but I've deleted you off my Facebook." Just like that. Good, but still... Funnily enough has since tried to get back on mine, but needless to say have ignored it... We don't need people like that in our lives. We need people who will lift us up. Bring out the best in us.
Lezlie @Kat Walter, "We need people who will lift us up. Bring out the best in us." Totally agree with you :-).
Kendra Yes iim actually dealiin wiith one now. It just qoes to show u that everybody aiint ur friiend.
Cynthia My gut feeling has been telling me I have one of these friends. she can be very cruel and blunt about certain things but she is not one to lift me up when I'm down, she actually put me down even more and the sad thing is that I'm here only true friend because in the past all her friends stop being her friends and many of them don't even tell her why they just walk away from her and now I'm thinking of doing the same thing. the hard part is that we also work together.
jessi On the topic of gossip- almost all women, if not all, talk behind each others backs. BUT there's a HUGE difference between talking out of concern or love and just talking to be mean and hurtful.
Kim Shamoh, in elementary I had friends. I think it just takes time sometimes...
Jessica I have this one friend that is literally always in competition with me no matter what it is, clothes, hair, money, boys, who has a better life talk about annoying!
Kierrah @Jessica Sophia that's VERY annoying!
Leah @Jessica Sophia Same! It's like no matter what I say, she has to say something better.
Shamoh Omg i dont have any friends 😳😔
Anja @Shamoh, Same here xxx
Kim @Shamoh I used to in elementary. Now as an adult, it seems hard to, both of you have to make time for each other. In school, but the people at the college I'm at aren't my types, even in the clubs I've tried.
Mattiace So hard to swallow all of this! Have had this happen to me. I felt like I was crazy when my so called friend was doing and saying such horrible things but, rest assured what goes around comes around! And now she is in jail.
jessi @Mattiace how does what goes around comes around have to do with her being in jail? Were you in jail? I hope you are ok and happy now :)
Kierrah @Mattiace wow, you sure are right, what goes around does come around. Especially in your friends case :)
Camila The whole frenemy thing does get old after a whole though...
Denise You're right, Camila. That's why you cut ties with people who are not your true friends.
Rabz Either ignore her or keep assuring her that she is better then you.(even if you are better then) this will put her mind In peace
Sophie I have someone 'friend' in my life who ticks almost all of these boxes she is always competing with me I HATE it. What can I do to make her stop with out being mean?
Vicki @Sophie I have to disagree with some of the other post regarding your issue. If you truly value your "friendship" with this person then the best thing to do is to confront her about how your feeling. Don't attack or accuse but let her know that the things she does make you feel bad and you'd like her to stop. Although, these talks can be hard to have (I speak from experience) a true friend will not only listen, but apologize AND make the effort to change. If she does none of those things, I'd say she's doesn't deserve the title of your friend! Good luck :)
Camila @Sophie Just ignore it and don't get into it. Honestly keep doing your own thing and pretend not to care.
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