Ever wondered why being a woman is so complicated? As women, we were born at a disadvantage, making life undeniably more complicated just because we were born with a vagina instead of a penis. Plain and simple, what department you buy your underwear in, makes the difference between how you are treated, what you make, and how much more complicated life will be. Here's why being a woman is so complicated.
Keeping with the subject of underwear, let’s start in that department. Our male buddies biggest concern in this choice is which option makes their package feel most comfortable, the tighty-whitey or the boxer? Some will choose what looks better, but most men will ultimately go with comfort first.
Now our turn. Underwear is one of the major reasons why being a woman is so complicated. We walk through the lingerie store, through three different rooms, trying to decide if we should go with hipsters, thongs, bikini cut, boyfriend cut, lace, cotton, satin, and the list goes on. Then once we pick the panties, we need to buy a bra to match, men just buy undershirts, easy three shirts in a pack for $9.99. Not us, we now must walk the entire store to find the right bra that we like and that fits right and there are even more bra choices than there is underwear.
This is not quick and easy stuff and neither is the cost of the bra at the price of $50+. The most ironic thing about all this, is most women hate wearing bras. We wear them because a man invented the bra a long time ago, and obviously couldn’t try it on to see how uncomfortable it really is. If we as women decided a man’s package looked better with the package propped up in a protective sports cup all day, I highly doubt men would all shift to wearing their sports cups to please us, especially if there was no incentive in it for them.
So now that we have our undergarments, we have to stop in the special hosiery section because our monthly “visitor” decided to show up a week early. Ah yes, another little part of life men get to skip out on, that monthly “visitor,” as my mom used to like to call my period, normally comes like clockwork except for when you are going out on one of the biggest dates of your life, then it comes that morning because that is Murphy’s Law and let’s face it, we have all lived it.
So, you proceed to buy and squeeze yourself into Spanx, otherwise known as your very own mermaid suit, because with your “visitor”, she brings chocolate cravings, mood swings, and the inevitable bloated belly, and despite the chocolate shake you drank and the crappy mood you are in, you are determined to still go on this date, and fit into that black form-fitting dress you bought a week ago. Your guy on the other hand, is merely slipping into the comfy undies he bought, but is not worried at all about the muffin top hanging over his seam.
Now make up. You have to make a stop at the department store to buy the eyeliner and mascara your friend told you about that doesn’t smear, because that would be tragic in the middle of dinner. Your guy stops at the drug store instead and spends $5 on a bottle of special shampoo to hide his dandruff, and if he is really psyched he may even splurge on some special deodorant. Even if you buy over the counter makeup from the drug store ladies, I assure you, he will still spend less on personal care items.
So, need I say more about how women’s lives are more complicated than men? Even at the simplest level, like getting ready for a date, we put a lot more into it, don’t we? Clearly being a woman is complex and may come with the monthly unwanted “visitor” and other downfalls, but personally I’ll take picking out pretty panties over wearing tighty-whiteys any day.
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