If you're looking for ways to stop holding grudges then this list might help. Many of us have had experiences in our lives where we feel that someone has done us wrong. However, holding onto this hate and resentment can make us feel miserable and it doesn't actually change what has happened. Check out these ways to stop holding grudges in order to make you feel better.
1. Write It out
One of the ways to stop holding grudges is to write it out. Journaling is a useful tool for all aspects of life. When it comes to dealing with difficult emotions, journaling can help you to come to terms with the reasons you're feeling this way. Think about why you're still holding onto this grudge and whether doing so is actually doing you any good. Think about the steps and measures you can take to move forward rather than being firmly stuck in a past that you cannot change.
2. Let It Go
I know it's easier said than done but negative emotions can become parasites that eat you up inside and bring you down. A nasty image, I know, but the best and most difficult thing to do is to let it go. For example, if there are items in your home that remind you of a person who you feel has done you wrong, looking at it every day is probably not helping. Maybe you can get rid of that item as a step towards letting go of that person.
3. Speak to Them
This can be very difficult and is probably the last thing you want to do but if you feel strongly enough, it might be an idea to speak to the person who you feel has done you wrong. Articulating your thoughts and feelings to that person might be helpful in moving forward.
4. Change Your Mindset
Changing your mindset is another way to stop holding grudges. Instead of thinking about that person as the most horrible person on the planet, recognize them as someone who has made a mistake. Their action towards you does not define them and they are so much more than what they have done to you. Changing the way you think can be very empowering and if you need an affirmation of forgiveness, my personal favorite is: "I move beyond forgiveness to understanding and I have compassion and kindness for all."
5. Mindful Breathing
Mindful meditation is something that can help you in all aspects of life. From weight loss to dealing with negative emotions, mindfulness can help you be in the present moment rather than thinking about the past or fretting about the future. Try 5 minutes of mindful breathing by finding a quiet spot, closing your eyes and breathing deeply. Concentrate on your breathing as you breathe in and out. Watch as you feel calm, centered and less concerned about the past and future.
6. See Their Side
Another way to stop holding grudges is to try and see things from their point of view. Maybe there was a reason they did what they did. It may not have been the right reason but they have a reason nevertheless. We have all done silly things that we regret and none of us are infallible. Seeing things from their side can make us realize that we're only human and we all make mistakes that we can hopefully learn from.
7. Every Cloud
I love the saying "Every cloud has a silver lining," and I find myself saying this when the going gets tough. As much as we would love to control everything that happens to us in life, unfortunately we can't. Recognizing that everything happens for a reason, and that there is often a positive to every negative, can be helpful in moving forward after an unfortunate event.
Hopefully these ways to stop holding grudges will help you move forward and stop you feeling stuck in the past. What other tips do you have for letting go of grudges?