Ever felt like you're not part of the "in" gang? Fret no more, for guest contributor Meenakshi shares her tips on how to handle being out of the loop.
I love my friends, they are everything to me and I meet new people all the time. Point being, socializing is an important part of all our lives. For some it comes naturally, for others it's a little more tough. But what I hate the most is when I feel like I am out of the loop. Out of the loop is when you feel like the third wheel or you always find out things last in your friends group because no one bothered to tell. Or maybe it's simply when people are talking, you feel like you aren't given the chance to put in your input. No worries, here are some ways to deal with it.
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Understand
Understand that if you feel like you're out of the loop, it's not automatically the fault of others. Most of the time, they don't even know that they are doing it. No one here is to blame. It is all about the situation and sometimes you just got to push it.
Remember, it's not uncommon to feel like you've missed the boat when everyone around seems to be sailing smoothly in sync. But it's important to recognize that this isn’t a reflection of your worth or the intention of others to exclude you. In a dynamic world like ours, communication can sometimes falter without any malice. So rather than dwelling on a feeling of exclusion, view it as a nudge to step up and ask for the information you need. Reaching out can bring you up to speed and reestablish those vital connections.
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Just Listen
Okay, so there is a conversation going on and you feel out of the loop because you have no idea what they're talking about. Just listen to what they are saying and get an idea of what they're talking about. Then once you know, try to push yourself into the conversation. This is important because the conversation may be personal and private so make sure you know what you're getting into.
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Just Talk
I know you have probably heard this advice for about every issue you have but it's a great tip. It doesn't even have to be a really serious or emotional conversation. Make it quick, let them talk, and then continue. If they take what you're trying to say lightly, to the point where they're not listening at all, that is a problem!
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Move on
If you really can't follow up on what your friends are talking about just go to another friend and start talking. I'm not saying make a big scene and break up with these friends. Just subtly sight a friend, get up normally, smile saying you're going to talk to a friend and go. That's why its sometimes important to have a couple of other friends outside your usual friends group. It's not like its cheating or anything (unless you guys take your friendships very seriously.)
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Ask
Just ask what's going on. To be honest, this one might help the most and be the easiest. These guys are your friends after all. They are here for you. So if you ask, they are most likely going to let you in. Even if it is a sacred club, you are in my friend.
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If you would take, you must first give, this is the beginning of intelligence.
Humor
Humor is the best way to get into a conversation (unless the topic is serious - again, ask or listen to what they are talking about first). Everyone loves a little humor. Serious conversations are intriguing but ones filled with laughter are better.
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It's Okay
Sometimes its okay to not know things. Just let things take their course and they'll tell you when they tell you. And if they don't, maybe they just forgot or it's something private. Whatever the reason it, don't take it personally. Just let it go sometimes.
Being out of the loop isn't fun, but it's not a curse. Being a little reserved does sometimes have its negative points. I never have the guts to go up to someone and talk; they always had to come to me and I guess now I'm paying. Yes, I'm usually out of the loop, but that does not mean my friends do not care about me. And the same goes for you.
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