They always say you can’t choose family. This is even true with in-laws. I believe everyone has at least one good trait and should be given a chance. However, if you are having trouble with your daughter-in-law and are wondering what to do about this situation, take a look at the list below. 7 ways to deal with a difficult daughter in law are posted to help you out.
One way to deal with a difficult daughter-in-law is to try for peace. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. This doesn’t mean you have to suddenly start engaging in behavior you deem unladylike or anything like that. Call a truce and take your daughter-in-law for who she is. Don’t try to mold her into someone you approve of. She’s the one your child chose to marry, so you will have to come to terms with this fact.
You might actually start to like your daughter-in-law more if you get to know her background a bit better. Sometimes people seem like they are being crass or rude, when it’s merely their tone of voice and they don’t even know how bad they sound. If you get closer to your daughter-in-law, then both she and you will be more comfortable if you make suggestions to her as to how her behavior makes you feel. She’s less likely to have hurt feelings by a statement you make and you’re more likely to put forth such a statement with a bit more finesse.
Sometimes the best way to deal with a difficult daughter-in-law is simply to go with the flow. Remember that this woman was brought into your family by your son/daughter and she might be the one to bear you some grandkids. Upsetting her will upset your own offspring and thus cause conflict between everyone in the future. Your grandkids might not see you as often as you like, simply because you couldn’t keep your cool about the way your daughter-in-law acts around the family or towards you in general.
If taking a few deep breaths and going to your ‘happy place’ doesn’t do the trick, then it might be time to leave the room for a bit. Politely excuse yourself and quietly walk into the next room or go outside. Take some time to yourself and calm down before returning.
If the situation with your daughter-in-law becomes too overwhelming, it may be time to take a break. Step away from the situation and find a quiet space to collect your thoughts. This could mean leaving the room and taking a few moments to yourself. It is important to remember to politely excuse yourself and remain calm. Taking a few deep breaths can help ease the tension. Once you have calmed down, you can return to the situation with a clearer head.
Your daughter-in-law might only act nasty when she’s in the same room with you because she feels threatened in some way. Find out from your offspring if this might be the case. See if she acts in the same manner when she’s around other people. If she is, then it’s most likely just her personality. Ask your son/daughter if he/she might have a suggestion or two on how to handle your daughter-in-law’s attitude during family functions.
There are times when the best way to deal with a difficult daughter-in-law is to be firm. No one wants to sit at the dinner table and hear someone who has married into the family bash your blood-relatives. Even if you have a similar view on someone she’s referring to, steer your daughter-in-law in a direction away from the discussion about a certain relative. She might start commenting on the way Aunt Sally wears her hair in a giant beehive hairdo and how it’s so outdated. Provide a comeback about how Aunt Sally might not be up with the latest trend in hairstyles, but she’s an amazing woman nonetheless. If you end on a good note, maybe your daughter-in-law won’t feel the need to keep gossiping about dear Aunt Sally.
Losing your cool won’t make you out to be any better than your daughter-in-law. If she wants to engage in a screaming match, keep stating your side of the argument in a calm tone. Don’t start with any name-calling even if she tries to get you riled up. Mind your manners and she might actually decide to calm down on her own.
Dealing with in-laws can be hard. Not all these will work in every situation, but hopefully you can find one of these techniques that are just what you were looking for. Out of these 7 ways to deal with a difficult daughter in law, which one do you think would be most likely to work for you?
Top Photo Credit: Matt Bostock Archives