There are a number of things you feel in your twenties and, contrary to reports, those things aren't always so great. I wanted to write this in the hope that you’ll comment and let me know that I’m not alone and it’s actually quite normal not to feel ‘sorted’ yet. It’s fun, yes, and (for part of it, at least) you probably won’t have the responsibility you might have in your thirties, like babies and a mortgage. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean it’s easy – so, here are some things you feel in your twenties that are really completely normal (I hope).
Out of all the things you feel in your twenties, this is probably the one that will have the greatest effect on what you do and how you live – it does for me. I’ve only been out in the working world for two years and so I’m definitely at the bottom of the food chain. I spend most of my time calculating whether I can afford to do or buy something, and the rest of that time wondering when and if I’ll get to the point where I can buy a deluxe sandwich at lunch without worrying about it. This is true of most of my friends.
This is something I ask myself all the time, even though I mostly feel positive about the industry I work in. I’m always imagining what my life would be like if I’d taken a different career path – whether I would be happier, richer, more fulfilled. I guess you can’t ever really know but I do know that if you aren’t happy, your twenties are the time when you should move around. Don’t get stuck in something you hate.
Even if you’re 100% satisfied with your chosen career path, you have to start at the bottom. And starting at the bottom means making tea, admin, taking crap off your boss – after a really bad day, I worry that I’m going to be stuck in the same position forever. I can see where I want to be, but I know what I have to wade through to get there – and some days, it really doesn’t seem worth it.
I like this programme but I curse it as well. The women in ‘Girls’ are meant to be all awkward and struggling to sort their lives out. In reality, most twenty-something girls don’t have significant family wealth behind them, don’t spend their weekends going to hip warehouse parties and don’t get into relationships with famous/millionaire bachelors. Most of us are eating beans on toast in our pants and watching The Walking Dead boxset.
From my experience, my friends have either had a succession of unsuccessful relationships with unsuitable men, are stuck in relationships with guys they don’t feel that strongly about because they’re afraid to be on their own or they’re in a really happy relationship but still question whether that one is ‘the one.’ Because how can you possibly know? How can you know if you’ll even be the same person by the time you’re thirty?
It is far too easy to compare yourself to your successful, sorted friends. They have more money than you, a better career than you, a nicer apartment than you – it’s normal to ask yourself if you’re getting left behind and why, but it’s dangerous to start thinking you have to catch up. When I notice myself doing this, I remind myself that everyone’s different and that I know their lives aren’t as perfect as they look, anyway.
I hate that phrase and I’m very sorry for using it. But, if you’re anything like me, you still don’t feel confident and comfortable in your own skin. You pick at yourself, wishing you could change things and thinking about all the things you’ve said that you wish you hadn’t. I am told that, as you get older, this lessens somewhat. You start to accept yourself more and care less about what everyone else thinks. If you don’t feel like that yet though, you aren’t alone.
So, there you go! Seven confessions. Those are the things I worry about (there’s more, obviously…) but I don’t think I’m alone. What do/did you worry about in your twenties?