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Best Ways to Bond with Someone Who is Overly Shy ...

By Corina

There are a lot of shy people out there and they are often misunderstood by the ones who are a bit more daring. Most shy people are introverted and they often lack the confidence and the skills of making new friends. You could even say that for a shy person, making new friends is comparable to playing a strategic chess game. In the Western world, quietness has never been seen as a virtue since our world is mostly about instant gratification and speedy convenience. A shy introvert is often a highly reserved individual who shows signs of sensitivity, cautiousness, fear and timidity in social situations. But despite that, it’s a great error to assume that because they are bit cautious, they are not friendly or that they are uninterested or indifferent. Here are 7 ways to bond with someone really shy that you should consider:

1 Approach the Shy Person Alone

If you want to become friends with someone, but they are really shy, the first and most important thing you should do is to approach them when you are alone. Bringing your friends with you can cause too much social pressure to your shy friend, who might feel uncomfortable or even embarrassed.

2 Talk to Them in a Polite and Gentle Manner

If you want to approach a shy person, then don’t be too loud and don’t speak too roughly because you might make them feel uneasy. That can also be overwhelming and embarrassing for them so try to always talk in a polite and gentle manner if you don’t want to scare them.


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3 Find and Talk about Similar Interests You Both Share

Shy introverts often bond with others through personal, intimate and meaningful conversation and they often become friends with people who share similar interests or even problems as them. Just pick a topic that you think you can both relate to and open a conversation about those particular issues.

4 Never Demand a Sudden Response

If you want to bond with someone who is really shy, then try to always be sensitive to their feelings. If you notice that they don’t want to answer a specific question, just change the topic of your conversation to a more comfortable one.

5 Choose Your Words Carefully

When you talk to someone who is really, really shy, try to avoid saying personal jokes and statements that can make them feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable. This can be insulting for them, even if you didn’t mean to hurt their feelings.

6 Keep Your First Conversations Short

Shy people are often a bit cautious when it comes to picking people to hang out with. Just give them time to adjust and keep your first conversations short. You could add a little more length to your conversations as you try to get to know each other more deeply. Make sure you let your conversations come naturally; just let them be spontaneous and don’t ever plan them.

7 Don’t Make Them Feel out of Place

When you talk to a shy person, try to avoid being too intense or overwhelming in any form. Don’t pressure, force or encourage them to do anything out of their obvious comfort zone because this might make them lose trust in you and they will retreat.

If you want to become friends with a shy introvert, try to also keep your conversations and social encounters to a small time frame at first and let them come naturally because otherwise, you might make them feel overwhelmed or even embarrassed. Do you know any other ways to bond with someone really shy? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section!


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