What are the signs you've outgrown your friends? We like to think that we'll be friends forever, but some people belong to certain stages in our lives. Sometimes we aren't the same people that we were when we met a friend, and the things we once had in common disappear. Here are some of the signs you've outgrown your friends …
One of the signs you've outgrown your friends is that you don't enjoy seeing them. Perhaps you both find it difficult to chat as freely as you once did. This doesn't mean that you don't like each other anymore, but that you don't have the same rapport you once had. People change, and so do friendships.
It is natural for friendships to evolve over time. As we grow and mature, the things that we find interesting and important may change, and this can lead to growing apart from our friends. When this happens, it can be difficult to recognize that our relationships have shifted. Here are seven signs that you may have outgrown your friends:
You don’t enjoy seeing them: If you find yourself dreading get-togethers with your friends, it could be a sign that you’ve outgrown them. It could be that you don’t have the same rapport you once had, or that you have different interests now.
You don’t feel comfortable being yourself: Friendships should be based on trust and honesty, and if you don’t feel comfortable being yourself around your friends, it could be a sign that you’ve outgrown them.
You don’t talk about the same things: If you and your friends no longer have anything in common to talk about, it could be a sign that you’ve outgrown them.
Perhaps you no longer have anything in common. Many old friendships founder when one person has children and the other still leads a single life. Neither can understand the other's lifestyle anymore. If you don't have the same things in common that made you friends, it can be challenging to maintain a friendship where the reason for it existing has changed.
Are you a different person from how you were five or ten years ago? We can change a lot over the years, but if your friend hasn't developed as a person it can create difficulties. Either they seem stagnant, or they resent the fact that you've moved on in life and developed.
The friends from our younger days can seem immature when we have more responsibilities, such as children or career. This immaturity will seem irritating and lead you to dislike being around them. We all mature at different rates, and if your friends always want to party when you enjoy a quieter time, it may be time to move on.
Is your friend always criticising you and saying negative things about your life? Consider why they are doing this; if they don't realise they're being negative then talking to them may solve the problem. But if they're trying to put you down to make themselves feel better, the friendship has probably run its course.
Some friendships can pick up where they left off, no matter how much time has passed. But what if only one of you makes the effort to keep in touch? This kind of one-sided friendship hardly seems worth having; if they never take the initiative and always leave it to you to make arrangements, they may have outgrown you.
Perhaps you stay in touch for nostalgic reasons, because you've known your friend for years. Or maybe your kids are at school together and you feel obliged to be friends. Life is too short to waste it on people you don't actually enjoy being with, so ease away from a friendship that gives you nothing.
It can be hard letting go of a friend who has been in your life for a long time, but even long-standing friendships can run out of steam. You're not doing each other any favors if you hang on to a friendship that does nothing for you. Let it go, and make room for both of you to have more fulfilling friendships. Would you stay friends out of a sense of obligation?