What are the signs you've outgrown your friends? We like to think that we'll be friends forever, but some people belong to certain stages in our lives. Sometimes we aren't the same people that we were when we met a friend, and the things we once had in common disappear. Here are some of the signs you've outgrown your friends …
1. You Don't Enjoy Seeing Them
One of the signs you've outgrown your friends is that you don't enjoy seeing them. Perhaps you both find it difficult to chat as freely as you once did. This doesn't mean that you don't like each other anymore, but that you don't have the same rapport you once had. People change, and so do friendships.
2. Nothing in Common
Perhaps you no longer have anything in common. Many old friendships founder when one person has children and the other still leads a single life. Neither can understand the other's lifestyle anymore. If you don't have the same things in common that made you friends, it can be challenging to maintain a friendship where the reason for it existing has changed.
3. You've Changed, They Haven't
Are you a different person from how you were five or ten years ago? We can change a lot over the years, but if your friend hasn't developed as a person it can create difficulties. Either they seem stagnant, or they resent the fact that you've moved on in life and developed.
4. They Seem Immature
The friends from our younger days can seem immature when we have more responsibilities, such as children or career. This immaturity will seem irritating and lead you to dislike being around them. We all mature at different rates, and if your friends always want to party when you enjoy a quieter time, it may be time to move on.
5. Negativity
Is your friend always criticising you and saying negative things about your life? Consider why they are doing this; if they don't realise they're being negative then talking to them may solve the problem. But if they're trying to put you down to make themselves feel better, the friendship has probably run its course.
6. One-Sided
Some friendships can pick up where they left off, no matter how much time has passed. But what if only one of you makes the effort to keep in touch? This kind of one-sided friendship hardly seems worth having; if they never take the initiative and always leave it to you to make arrangements, they may have outgrown you.
7. Sentimental
Perhaps you stay in touch for nostalgic reasons, because you've known your friend for years. Or maybe your kids are at school together and you feel obliged to be friends. Life is too short to waste it on people you don't actually enjoy being with, so ease away from a friendship that gives you nothing.
It can be hard letting go of a friend who has been in your life for a long time, but even long-standing friendships can run out of steam. You're not doing each other any favors if you hang on to a friendship that does nothing for you. Let it go, and make room for both of you to have more fulfilling friendships. Would you stay friends out of a sense of obligation?
Frequently Asked Questions
- How do I know if I've outgrown my friends?
- Well, if you just feel like you don’t click with them anymore or your interests have diverged massively, that's a big sign. If you find yourself dreading meetups or feeling drained after hanging out, you might have outgrown them.
- Is it normal to outgrow friends as you get older?
- Absolutely, it’s super normal! People change as they grow and sometimes those changes mean you drift apart from old friends. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or them, it's just part of life.
- Can friendships last if you have nothing in common?
- It's possible, but it can be really tough. Usually, shared interests and common experiences help bond you to your friends. Without that, the connection might start to feel forced.
- What should I do if I feel like I don’t have anything in common with my friends anymore?
- It might be time to have an open chat with them. Sometimes, you can find new common ground or activities to enjoy together. But if that doesn’t work, it’s okay to spend more time making new friends who share your current interests.
- Is it bad to end friendships when you outgrow them?
- Not at all. Friendships, like all relationships, should be nurturing and positive. If they no longer serve you or make you happy, it's okay to move on. Ending a friendship doesn’t have to be negative; it can just be a part of growing up.