What are the reasons you shouldn't move back in with your parents? In some cultures, it's common for different generations of the family to share a home, and it can work very well. However, in western culture it can create a difficult situation. So when is it better for you not to move back home? Here are some of the reasons you shouldn't move back in with your parents …
1. Because You're Lazy
One of the reasons you shouldn't move back in with your parents is if you're being lazy and like your parents doing everything for you. As an adult you should be taking care of yourself, and if you can't be bothered with tasks like laundry and cleaning then your alternative is to pay someone to do these jobs for you. Your mom is not your servant.
2. Living off Them
When you move back into the family home, you probably won't pay the market rent for your room. So in a way you're living off them. This may be acceptable if the idea is to help you get back on your feet financially. But you shouldn't move back in and expect your parents to pay for everything; a grown adult should pay their own way in life.
3. Loss of Independence
One of the most uncomfortable things about moving back into the family home is that it reminds you of your teenage years. It's like being a child again. You become very aware that you're in your parents' home. It can be worse than being in a shared home, especially if your parents also forget that you're a grown adult and start laying down the law!
4. Adult
Everyone can get into difficulties through factors outside their control, and if you have to move back in with your parents because of health problems, that's understandable. But otherwise, adults should take care of themselves and provide their own accommodation. Moving back to your parents' home can infantilise you.
5. No Exit Strategy
When you do decide to go back home to live, you should always have an exit strategy. Work out how and when you'll be able to move back into your own place. If you don't, it can be quite depressing. Having a timetable and a plan will help minimise any sense of awkwardness you feel, and know that you don't have to sleep in your old childhood room forever.
6. You Don't Get on
If you don't get on with your parents that well, resist the idea of moving back in with them at all costs. Living with them will be pretty miserable if you're going to squabble all the time. It can be tough enough if you do get on, so a difficult relationship will quickly become uncomfortable for everyone concerned.
7. They're Not Keen
Don't try to push the idea if your parents aren't keen. They've done their job and brought you up, and they're not obliged to do so again now you're an adult. Maybe you moving back in would upset their new life.
This isn't to say that moving back into your parents' home can never work. Some people love it. But for most people it is more likely to be difficult, as the dynamics have changed. Would you happily live with your parents, or would you rather live anywhere but with them?
Frequently Asked Questions
- Is it really a bad idea to move back in with my parents?
- It can be challenging. You might lose some independence and privacy. Plus, family dynamics could create stress.
- Why shouldn't I move back home if my parents want me to?
- Even if they want you to, you need to consider your personal growth. Living independently helps you learn valuable life skills and habits.
- Is it unhealthy to live with my parents again?
- It could be, depending on your relationship with them. It might stifle your growth and adult responsibilities could be harder to learn.
- What if I don’t have a choice? My parents are insisting.
- If it's a must, set boundaries and ensure you have your space. Communicate openly about your needs and expectations.
- Will moving back in with my parents affect my social life?
- Absolutely, it could. Your social life might take a hit as you won't have the same freedom and opportunities to host friends or go out freely.