There were two occasions when I felt the need to break up with a toxic friend, as I felt that the emotional rollercoaster ride was too much for me to handle. For those who haven't experienced this … congratulations! You have been saved from a life chapter of stress and mess. As for those who are living with or going out with friends who exude more negativity than positive energy, here are reasons why - even if it is difficult to do - you definitely need to break up with a toxic friend:
You don't need the drama. The simple life is a good life. Drama complicates everything. Go ahead and break up with a toxic friend when he or she repeatedly drags you in a theatrical production of "I thought you were my friend! Why didn't you support me when I applied for that job in your company?! You don't value our friendship!" Real friends understand that you can't do everything for them; toxic friends don't.
You are with a toxic friend when everything she sees, thinks, and feels is associated with negative emotions. He or she looks for flaws in every person that you meet, or digs up dirty stories just to make the person look bad. What good does it bring when you talk ill about another person anyway? Frankly, I let go of many friends who are like this.
A toxic friend constantly bombards you with negative thoughts that you unconsciously absorb. You are what you think, remember? You know when you are with a toxic friend because you drag yourself to see them, you are not excited to meet them, and you feel sluggish and tired when you recall what he or she said the last time you had coffee.
Lady, you're not a clown. Making her happy is not your responsibility. You can help to make her happy but it's not your heavenly mandate to be the sole person in charge of her happiness. Any mature person knows that. We do have our down times and we seek comfort and love from our friends, but friends who make you feel that you are responsible for making them happy all the time?! Uh, that's toxic!
A lot of things turn topsy-turvy when they involve money. I know someone whose best friend constantly uses her card for different purchases. Things didn't turn out well for the either of them. Friend A had her card maxed out and she was left paying for the transactions that Friend B made. Money is a very sensitive issue. Be wary of loaning your friend any.
I don't like people who claim to be your friend but talk ill about you to others. I have encountered too many people of this kind in my life - even heard them talk about me - and my usual reaction is to let them see me happy. While it hurts a lot to have people on this earth who are like this, you have to gather your emotions and be objective about the situation. People who spread lies about you are not your friends. Plain and simple.
Otherwise known as bullying. It doesn't matter if it's done in private or public. True friends can tell you how terrible your outfit is in a way that is not offensive. Toxic friends do it in a manner that crushes your self-esteem. And they do it all the time. The deal breaker is in the frequency and the gravity of the bullying. No real friend makes you feel bad about yourself all the time.
Have you broken up with any toxic friends?