7 Questions You Should Never Ask ...

Chelsie Jan 20, 2014

People are curious by nature and tend to ask a lot of questions, but there are some questions you should never ask. I always try to be polite when I am talking to people, and my politeness is always appreciated. In being polite, I have learned that there are certain questions that are generally considered very rude to ask. These questions tend to make people bristle up and feel like they are being judged or insulted. I always stay away from asking these questions. Unless you know the person really well, I suggest following this list of questions you should never ask.

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1. Income

Although it is considered extremely rude, some people still ask “How much do you make?” Even if you are very curious, avoid asking this question. Not only is it rude, but it can make people very uncomfortable. I know if someone asked me this question, I would feel like they were being very nosy. In all honesty, it is no one else’s business how much money a person makes. Unless the person offers up the information, inquiries about income are questions you should never ask.

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Income-related questions have a way of making conversations take an awkward turn. They intrude on personal boundaries and can instigate unnecessary comparison or judgment. Reflect on why you're curious about someone's financial status. If it isn't for a legitimate reason like a job interview where salary negotiation is expected, it's best to steer clear. We all have different responsibilities and financial journeys, so let's respect each other's privacy and focus on more enriching topics of conversation.

2. Weight

Have you ever had a person ask, “How much do you weigh?” If you have I am sorry because it is a very personal question that can make you feel like your space is being invaded. Of course, it is fine for doctors to ask this, but everyone else should avoid the question. It doesn’t matter if you are asking a person who is tiny, medium, or large because this question can make people feel very insecure. It can also make a person feel like they are being judged, and this is never a good thing. If your friend tells you that she or he lost weight, just say congratulations, there is no need to ask her or him what their current weight is.

Frequently asked questions

Personal questions can make people feel uncomfortable or judged, and it's always better to respect someone's privacy unless they invite you to know more.

Impolite questions often cross personal boundaries, seem judgmental, or are too invasive, making people feel uneasy or offended.

Yes, asking about age can be tricky, especially if the person feels that age will lead to unfair assumptions. It's polite to avoid unless it's relevant.

If a question feels off-topic, too personal, or if you think it might embarrass the other person, it's likely intrusive. Trust your gut and think about how you'd feel if asked.

It's perfectly okay to politely decline to answer or change the subject. You can say something like, 'I'd rather not discuss that,' or steer the conversation elsewhere.

3. Age

Unless you are talking to someone under the age of 15, I suggest avoiding asking people how old they are. In general, only little children appreciate this question. However, adults tend to dislike being asked their age. Even though I am in my late 20s, I am not a fan of being asked my age. Mostly because I know people think I look like I am 17, which isn’t a bad thing. However, I am glad to be finished with high school and would really prefer not to be reminded that I still look like I am in high school. Of course, there is the opposite end of the spectrum. People who feel they look older than their age don’t want to be reminded of that either. Age questions are risky and are best saved for little kids who show you with their fingers how old they are.

4. Marriage

It is just not kind to ask a person, “Why aren’t you married?” This question tends to come from family members, but that doesn’t make it an acceptable question to ask. Asking a person why they are not married implies that there is something wrong with being single, which is not the case. It is a question that makes people feel like their life choices are being judged. I think I have only had one person ever ask me this, and I really felt awful when they asked me. Having had the experience of being asked this question, I can honestly say it was not a pleasant experience. If someone isn’t married there are likely some very good reasons that they would probably prefer to keep to themselves.

5. Hair Color

Asking someone if their hair color is real is never a good idea. Usually people color their hair for one of two reasons, either for a change or to hide their gray hairs. Since it can be hard to know which is the case, I suggest staying away from this question. People who are coloring their hair to hide grays don’t want their age to be highlighted. In fact, they are trying to look younger, and asking about their hair color won’t make them feel good about themselves. If you are curious because you want to have your hair colored the same color, you can always say, “I wish my hair was that color,” and see what they say.

6. Pregnancy

It is really risky to ask a woman when she is due if you don’t already know she is pregnant. More often than not, if you think a woman is pregnant she probably is. However, there are the few occasions when a woman looks pregnant when she isn’t. In this case, the question can be very hurtful. I always wait and see if the woman mentions that she is pregnant. If she doesn’t, I just accept that I will be left wondering.

7. Cost

It is generally not a good idea to ask someone how much they paid for something. This is another money question, and these types of questions tend to make people very uncomfortable. It can also make someone feel like their purchasing choices are being judged. If the item is something you would like to buy for yourself, simply ask if they would mind telling you where they purchased it because you would like to have one also. This avoids any topic of money, and if the person is nice they will help you find what you are looking for.

There are some questions that should never be asked. They can make people feel uncomfortable, feel like are being judged, or hurt their feelings. I always stay away from questions like these, especially with people I hardly know. What questions do you avoid asking?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

I agree with most of these but I think ppl care too much about ppl asking their age, I honestly don't care it's not that big of a deal. Weight is a no no, even asking someone how much weight they've lost is rude, just tell them they look great. I get asked why I am not married, it's very awkward, how do you answer that (bc I am a psycho gf? Lol jk).

I am 44, people think I am 30, and I am very proud of that. There is a guy, who's working at our local supermarket, he is still a student, so he cannot be older than 23, who's flirting with me and this always makes me smile.

I don't mind being asked about my age, my weight, my savings or the money I make. I can always answer the truth to a best friend, or a lie to a nosy person.

im an early 30's but look like 20's. many people overrated my age maybe I've owned a baby-face-look-alike. but still I dont like people asking my age.

In relation to 'hook ups' or future partners age should ALWAYS be asked..I'm sorry but I'm so sick of hearing 'but I thought she was older'.. whatever mate you are now a pedo in my eyes...

I saw a T-shirt in a webshop with the text: "not pregnant, just fat" (in Dutch). Ideal prevention against silly questions?

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