You can become a great conversationalist even if you aren't much of a talker. Personally, I have always hated small talk. Please don't talk to me about the weather, unless it truly is remarkable. Although I am not a fan of long conversations, there have been many times when I have found myself in situations with no way out. So I started to test out ways to become a great conversationalist and they actually work!
1 Listen
If you can learn to become a great listener, you will also become a great conversationalist. Most people love to talk about themselves so just make it a point to listen to what they are saying. Once you hear something that you can discover more about, you can ask them a question and this will build on the conversation. Don't just hear them, allowing what they say to go in one ear and out the other. Be proactive about it and process what they are saying to you; this is listening.
Frequently asked questions
2 Ask Questions
You don't want the conversation to sound like an interview or interrogation, so you want the questions you ask to be timely and appropriate. This may take some practice if you aren't used to conversing, but practice makes perfect, right? Actually perfect practice makes perfect. Say you are talking with someone and they mention their boyfriend. This is the perfect time to ask them the story of how they met.
3 Be Observant
Take some time to notice what they are wearing, if they have an accent, or anything else that sets them apart as an individual. These are all entry points for asking questions and adding to the conversation. It may seem silly to do this at first, but you may be surprised at what you discover from being observant and asking questions.
4 Body Language
If you find that you are in the middle of a conversation and you still can't find the words, just make use of your body language. As hard as it may seem, be sure to make eye contact when the person is speaking to you. This is a sign that you are at least interested and attentive. Also smile when it's appropriate. When people tell stories they look for signals from their audience that they are on the right track. So a simple smile can perpetuate the dialogue even further.
5 Say Their Name
This is the absolute hardest thing for me to remember. I can always remember a person's face but it's so hard to remember their name. So I started thinking of clever ways on how to remember a person's name because the sweetest sound to a person is their own name. When someone tells you their name, be sure to say it back to them. If this doesn't work, find an outstanding physical attribute or a rhyming word for their name and pair it. Only you will know that you know them as Clever Heather. She will just remember that you remembered her name.
6 Connect Dots
Now that you know a little more about the person you are conversing with, find a way to connect the dots. I find that the best way to do this is to take the info I have been given and make the next logical comment. If you are talking about school, then take the conversation to plans for after school finishes. If you discover that you have something in common with the person then you can connect the dot to yourself.
7 Honesty
People enjoy an honest conversation as it's refreshing. The next time someone asks how you are doing, tell them the truth. This will usually lead to a candid conversation. If someone is vulnerable with you then share something about yourself. Honesty is a sure way to becoming a great conversationalist. Just be sure to think before you speak.
I have grown to love meeting new people. I never would have arrived at this place if I hadn't learned how to hold a conversation. How do you feel about talking to people? Do you have any tips to become a great conversationalist you would add to this list?
