Everyone who knits – woman, man, in between, anyone and everyone – knows a few fundamental struggles. They happen when you're brand new to the craft and they happen when you're so advanced you're making up your own patterns and designs. I'm a knitter, man, and I know these problems. If you're a knitter, you know the struggle, too. Let's suffer through together. We'll come out with stunning stitches in the end.
1 When You Yank Your Needle out of Your Stitches
Usually when you're pulling something out of the huge pile of projects you have going on, but it can also be completely unexpected and thus all the more horrifying.
2 That Moment You Realize the Pattern is Wrong
And you aren't sure what it's supposed to be. And Google produces no results. And you love it SO MUCH.
3 You Fool Yourself into Thinking That Knitting is More Productive than It is
Don't get me wrong, it IS productive. However, finally finishing the arm warmers you've been working on is NOT more important than your deadline or your upcoming paper.
4 When You're Counting Stitches around a Chatterbox
Every knitter has one. They always start talking the second you begin casting on your stitches and don't stop until you finally cast on the right number – after getting it wrong ten times.
5 The Utter Horror of Dropping a Stitch
Especially if you don't catch it quickly enough. I still don't know what to do, except that one thing you're technically supposed to avoid at all costs …
6 The Way Your Yarn Looks after You've Ripped It More than Once
The more you start over, the worse it gets. Ugh.
7 Trying to Knit on the down Low
This is harder if you live with the person you're knitting for, but even if you're knitting for a friend or a coworker, the recipient of your latest masterpiece is bound to catch you in the act at some point.
8 The Moment Your Perfectionism Becomes Frustrating
This usually occurs right around the time your yarn starts fraying. You know, from all the ripping. At its worst, your perfectionism will force you to unravel a huge chunk of work because you simply cannot live with one small mistake.
9 Knitting with Pets
Cats, dogs, bunnies. Doesn't matter. They view your knitting accouterments as either toys for their amusements or impediments to your lap and/or affection.
10 The Overwhelming Urge to Start Something New before You Finish Your Current Project
All the time. So you end up with something like four knitting projects you're earnestly trying to finish.
11 Planning Ambitious, Homemade Presents
Every holiday, every birthday, every special anniversary, you vow to make some wonderful gift – or a whole bunch of them. Scarves, throws, blankets, hats – you have such big dreams! Never, ever happens.
12 The Heartbreak of Expensive Yarn
You fall in love with a ball of soft, warm, cozy yarn in a gorgeous array of colors … and it costs $30 a skein and your heart hurts.
13 The Raging Frustration of Losing Needles
Where do they go? They're like socks. Inevitably, after you replace them, you find your old pair, and in the end, you wind up with fifteen pairs of size 10.
14 The Despair of a Knot
Especially when it is one big knot made up of twenty different yarns. I've lived this nightmare so many times.
15 The Moment when Your Hands Start to Protest
The cramps in your fingers, the aches in your palms!
16 Yarn Burn
That's all I have to say about that.
17 The Joy You Always Feel when You Give Something to Someone
The moment your latest project finds its new home and the recipient exclaims over it … that's the best. The very best.
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