Conversation Topics people in serious relationships or very good friends choose differ significantly from the ones discussed between acquaintances and people who are casually dating. Now, in case you’ve decided to make a big comeback after a very long relationship or find a new BFF after your old one has betrayed you, you might feel a bit out of place wondering which conversation topics are okay and which should be saved for much later. Yes, the truth is that you can’t simply pick up where you’ve left off and that you must pick your words wisely. So, until you’re sure your friendship/relationship is becoming meaningful, try not to go too much into the following conversation topics:
1. “Dirty Laundry”
Best friends and loved ones know you, they know what’s going on in your life, know a lot about those things you’re not really proud of and they don’t feel the need to pass it around for the sake of fun and gossiping. They won’t judge you either or feel uncomfortable discussing these things with you. Why? Because you already know each other very well. Strangers, in the other hand, (and by strangers I mean people who are yet to become good friends) don’t need to know all your dirty little secrets right away and if you bring this subject up too soon, they might even feel awkward or think that you’re weird.
Raise your hand if this is one of your favorite conversation topics! LOL! Let’s be honest now – we all gossip although we like to call it “discussing news and past events”. But there’s another thing we have in common so when we do gossip it’s always with our close friends. I think that’s the way it should be and I advise you to never gossip with people you don’t know very good. Why? Simply because you’ll make yourself look bad. Here’s what I’m thinking – if a girl I don’t know very good starts gossiping about another girl we both know, who can guarantee she won’t do the same for me the moment I turn my back on her?
Money talks are always a tricky subject so try to avoid them during the first few months of a new relationship or friendship. You can talk about the crisis, work-related problems, the fact that you can’t afford something at the moment and general stuff like that, but try to leave the questions like, “How much do you earn?” or exact information about your salary for later. The reasons for this are very simple – you don’t want your new friend or boyfriend to think you’re interested in his/her money and you definitely don’t want them to feel bad in case it turns out they make a lot more or a lot less money than you.
4. Long Term Commitment
Call me strange but I find forced future-oriented conversation topics quite scary! I mean, I don’t fall in love on command and I certainly can’t discuss long term plans with someone I know just a couple of months. Love and trust need time and forcing something that can’t be forced could only scare your date or a new friend and get him to think that you’re one of those spoiled people who are used to having everything right here and right now.
5. Religious Beliefs and Politics
I know politics and religion are potentially very interesting conversation topics which could help you get to know your date or a new friend a lot better but I must warn you not to force anything until you’re sure you won’t be misunderstood. Now, if you’re both so into politics or religion, these topics will pop up sooner giving you both a chance to share opinions. However, in case the other person isn’t really a fan of these, interrogating him/her is most definitely a huge mistake.
Ex relationship or friends are also a tricky subject because you might feel the need to follow your first instinct and spill your heart out, picking all the worst words you can find to describe the ex. Well, believe me, there will be time for that, and by that I don’t mean now. Be democratic, try not to describe all the ugly details too much because you still don’t know the other person all that well. Remember – you can trash your ex without indirectly trashing yourself as well and that’s something you don’t want to do while trying to make it work with a new boyfriend or a friend.
Information regarding your sex life such as favorite positions, number of partners you’ve had, STDs you had to deal with in the past are PRIVATE meaning that you’re not oblige to share most of them at all, yet alone so soon! Don’t question your friend too much either and question your partner only when your relationship reaches that level of intimacy. You might be liberal and very open but not all people are raised this way so forcing these issues in such an early stage could be embarrassing for them.
8. Other People’s Secrets
Okay, I suppose the secrets of others aren’t one of your favorite conversation topics but just in case they are I must give you a virtual slap on the wrist and advise you to stop while you still can. I never felt comfortable around people who like to share things that are not theirs to share and, once I notice one of my friends is doing that I start pulling back and feel like I’m supposed to rethink every though and carefully evaluate every single secret I’ve shared or thought about sharing. Both friendship and relationships should rely on trust and if you aren’t trustworthy there are strong chances your new friendship or relationship will never reach its full potential.
Oh, yeah and another very irritating thing you’d want to avoid is nagging people and telling them what to do with their lives. I really, really hate this and, quite honestly, it pisses me off even when it comes from people I know for years. If you’ve been asked for an advice, give one - if not be quiet.
Some of these conversation topics will come up very soon, some will require a certain amount of time but, you’ll get to discuss them all in the end. You’ll get close by then and these conversations won’t be awkward or cause bad feelings but bring you even closer! So, now that we’ve got all popular taboo topics out in the open, tell me – which conversation topics do you think should be avoided?
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