All Women's Talk

8 Constructive Ways to Put the past behind You ...

By Alison

Moving on is something that we often find hard to do. We´ve all suffered disappointments, been treated badly, and end up living with regrets. It isn´t emotionally healthy though to spend too much time and energy dwelling on the past; we can´t go back and change things. So how can you move on? Here are some constructive ways to put the past behind you …

1 The past Cannot Be Changed

We wouldn´t be human if we didn´t wish that we´d done things differently in the past. It´s impossible to live your life without putting a foot wrong! But whatever bothers you about your past, remember that you can´t change events that have already happen. It´s far more productive to learn from the past, decide to do things differently in the future, and move on.

2 Je Ne Regrette Rien

It seems to be human nature to beat yourself up over mistakes you made in the past. We can criticise ourselves in a way that we wouldn´t do to our friends. So be kind to yourself, as regrets are pointless. Remind yourself that you made the best decisions you could at the time, and that sometimes things go wrong. We´re only human!

3 Don´t Give People Power

One of the most useful ways to put the past behind you is to stop giving people the power to hurt or affect you. We´ve all been hurt by friends, family or people that we loved. That´s life. But we do have control over whether we continue to let them do so. It´s time to stop letting their behaviour affect you – don´t make it your problem, especially long after they were part of your life.

4 We All Make Mistakes

As I mentioned before, we can be terribly self-critical over getting things wrong in the past. Yet mistakes can actually lead to a positive outcome. You really can learn from your mistakes – they teach us how it would be better to do things differently next time. So don´t obsess over what you did ´wrong´, but use it to learn from.

5 Acceptance

We all have things happen to us that don´t seem fair, but a lot of people get obsessed by the wrongs done to them and just can´t let go. If you find yourself in this position, try to accept that something unfair happened but don´t dwell on it. Acceptance allows you to move away from past events and get on with life.

6 Don´t Live in the past

I know people who spend far too much time and energy obsessing on what others have done to them. It´s impossible to move on if you live in the past. Looking ahead is much healthier – don´t allow past issues, however painful, to rule your present life.

7 Let Go

Do you find yourself hanging on to past hurts and running over them again and again in your mind? Or even wishing that you could get your own back on someone? The only thing that achieves is to cause yourself further pain. It´s not worth holding on to those bad memories; let them go.

8 Look to the Future

This should be a really obvious way to put the past behind you: focus on the future! Yet many people don´t look forward; instead they spend their time thinking about the past, which they can do nothing to change. Are you like this? Change your focus and concentrate on the future.

Don´t be one of those people who lives in the past; it really is a sad waste of a life. We all have bad things happen to us since nobody leads a charmed life; the best answer is to move beyond it and not let it govern the rest of your life. Have you found any other successful ways to put the past behind you?

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