It’s natural for a parent to guide their child as they grow but some parents just overdue it, so here are a few characteristics of a controlling parent that you should consider. A controlling parent usually oversteps the boundaries of how much control is reasonable and necessary to help their child turn into a confident and independent adult. Clinical psychologists say that controlling parents have an authoritarian style of parenting and they often tend to display behaviors that stem from their own insecurities. Having some measure of control is important to any parent but that guidance can sometimes go too far. Here are 7 characteristics of a controlling parent that you should consider:
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1. They Are Perfectionists
One of the main characteristics of a controlling parent is that they are classic perfectionists. They often tend to apply the same perfectionist tendencies towards raising their little one as they do to their own lives. This leads to over-controlling and over-protective parents who create a very rigid structure for their child.
Oh boy, if your parents constantly monitor your every move or dictate your choices, you might be dealing with controlling parents. They might also be overly critical or enforce rules that seem excessive for your age.
Well, it often comes from a place of love and concern, but it can also stem from their own insecurities or past experiences. They might not even realize how their behavior is affecting you!
Communication is key. Try talking to them about how their actions make you feel. Set boundaries and seek support if needed. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own mental well-being.
It can be tough, but change is possible with some open conversations and patience. However, they're ultimately responsible for their actions, and you may need to adjust your expectations accordingly.
Unfortunately, yes. Being under constant scrutiny can lead to stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem. It's important to recognize these feelings and seek help if needed to maintain your mental health.
2. They Always Know What’s Best for Their Kids
A controlling parent would say that they always know what’s best for their kids, since they believe that their way is the only correct way. They often tend to do things for their children because they think that they do it better and they will give their kids little freedom to think for themselves. As they grow, these kids will feel resentful, powerless and even not good enough.
Oh boy, if your parents constantly monitor your every move or dictate your choices, you might be dealing with controlling parents. They might also be overly critical or enforce rules that seem excessive for your age.
Well, it often comes from a place of love and concern, but it can also stem from their own insecurities or past experiences. They might not even realize how their behavior is affecting you!
Communication is key. Try talking to them about how their actions make you feel. Set boundaries and seek support if needed. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own mental well-being.
It can be tough, but change is possible with some open conversations and patience. However, they're ultimately responsible for their actions, and you may need to adjust your expectations accordingly.
Unfortunately, yes. Being under constant scrutiny can lead to stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem. It's important to recognize these feelings and seek help if needed to maintain your mental health.
3. They Have High Expectations
As I said earlier, controlling parents are classic perfectionists, so it’s only natural for them to have high expectations. They will put a lot of pressure on their kids by setting unrealistic goals for them to reach, like getting perfect scores on all their exams. This attitude may lead a teen to act rebelliously or they might even become depend on their parents to solve all their problems for them since they lack initiative.
Oh boy, if your parents constantly monitor your every move or dictate your choices, you might be dealing with controlling parents. They might also be overly critical or enforce rules that seem excessive for your age.
Well, it often comes from a place of love and concern, but it can also stem from their own insecurities or past experiences. They might not even realize how their behavior is affecting you!
Communication is key. Try talking to them about how their actions make you feel. Set boundaries and seek support if needed. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own mental well-being.
It can be tough, but change is possible with some open conversations and patience. However, they're ultimately responsible for their actions, and you may need to adjust your expectations accordingly.
Unfortunately, yes. Being under constant scrutiny can lead to stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem. It's important to recognize these feelings and seek help if needed to maintain your mental health.
4. They Are Manipulative
Some controlling parents can be manipulative and they can make their kids believe that their love and affection is conditional. A controlling parent will often use love as a reward for a success and harsh punishments for perceived failures. Those illogical punishments will make their kids feel abandoned, so they might live in a state of ongoing fear of abandonment. Also, a controlling parent will use their love and affection as bribes to convince their kids to do what they want.
Oh boy, if your parents constantly monitor your every move or dictate your choices, you might be dealing with controlling parents. They might also be overly critical or enforce rules that seem excessive for your age.
Well, it often comes from a place of love and concern, but it can also stem from their own insecurities or past experiences. They might not even realize how their behavior is affecting you!
Communication is key. Try talking to them about how their actions make you feel. Set boundaries and seek support if needed. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own mental well-being.
It can be tough, but change is possible with some open conversations and patience. However, they're ultimately responsible for their actions, and you may need to adjust your expectations accordingly.
Unfortunately, yes. Being under constant scrutiny can lead to stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem. It's important to recognize these feelings and seek help if needed to maintain your mental health.
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5. They Control All Their Children’s Relationships
A controlling parent will try to control all their children’s relationships. They will tell them who they can and cannot hang out with, they make sure to be around when their kids’ friends come over and they dominate all conversations. If their kid is on the phone, they will try to hear what their kid is talking about and they will have no problem with invading their privacy.
Oh boy, if your parents constantly monitor your every move or dictate your choices, you might be dealing with controlling parents. They might also be overly critical or enforce rules that seem excessive for your age.
Well, it often comes from a place of love and concern, but it can also stem from their own insecurities or past experiences. They might not even realize how their behavior is affecting you!
Communication is key. Try talking to them about how their actions make you feel. Set boundaries and seek support if needed. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own mental well-being.
It can be tough, but change is possible with some open conversations and patience. However, they're ultimately responsible for their actions, and you may need to adjust your expectations accordingly.
Unfortunately, yes. Being under constant scrutiny can lead to stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem. It's important to recognize these feelings and seek help if needed to maintain your mental health.
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6. They Make Their Kids Doubt Themselves
A controlling parent can really affect a child’s self-esteem in the long term. They will often make their kids doubt themselves, since they nitpick everything they do, from the way they walk, talk or even how chew their food. Even as an adult, someone who has a controlling parent will feel like a 10 year old when they are around them.
Oh boy, if your parents constantly monitor your every move or dictate your choices, you might be dealing with controlling parents. They might also be overly critical or enforce rules that seem excessive for your age.
Well, it often comes from a place of love and concern, but it can also stem from their own insecurities or past experiences. They might not even realize how their behavior is affecting you!
Communication is key. Try talking to them about how their actions make you feel. Set boundaries and seek support if needed. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own mental well-being.
It can be tough, but change is possible with some open conversations and patience. However, they're ultimately responsible for their actions, and you may need to adjust your expectations accordingly.
Unfortunately, yes. Being under constant scrutiny can lead to stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem. It's important to recognize these feelings and seek help if needed to maintain your mental health.
7. They Compete for Their Child’s Affection
Some controlling parents may even compete for their children’s affection. They will try to slowly drive them away from their friends or even from other family members, they may try to isolate their kids by not allowing them to play with other children and if they feel that they are being replaced, they might become even more manipulative just to be able to control their kids and to make sure that they will solely depend on them.
Sometimes, a controlling parent can even use force and intimidation to ensure obedience. When their kids are young, they might use yelling or different punishments to make their kids do what they want but as their kids grow up, they might resort to monetary control or emotional support to control them. Do you know any other characteristics of a controlling parent? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section!
Sources:
everydaylife.globalpost.com
ehow.com
jaber3000.blogspot.ro
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Comments
Ericababy: Yeah parents should want their kids to have high expectations but when everything you do isn't good enough and it's a constant fight of why won't you accept me? Or why isn't anything i do good enough? You have enough of their behaviors. Sorry.
Squidge: Haha yes
Danielle: this is my dad made over no joke I'm literally going to send this to him
XxNabzxX: These sound like things my mum does too, but I suppose that it's only with our best interests. Although I do feel like if we as kids don't make mistakes then we will never really know why that's a mistake because we would just be told what to do and not to do.
Divamom: This is an extremely negative article that only serves to undermine family.
KaReN: this article is true in some ways, my mum didn't do any of this stuff for me she just let me do what i want i was always the last thing she'd think of, especially when it came to men, when i had my first child i disowned her completely because i don't want the same for my child.
SophieP: Mother. . . Jks x
SkyNicole: Look up Borderline Personality Disorder. "Maybe" it's because they have a psychological issue that needs attention. "Maybe" setting a child up for a lifetime of therapy is quite the opposite of caring.
Splashhhh: Some of them I just dont agree , every parent wants the best for thier children I would b worry if a parent doesnt actualy do some of this things
Julie: Spot on.... Its almost like this article was written for me...
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