By Donatella • 4 Comments
Sure, brothers and sisters fight all the time, but there are ways to rekindle your relationship with your brother. Sometimes fights can go on for five minutes whereas others can go on for five years – no matter what you are both going through right now, it’s important to rekindle your relationship with your brother. Here are some great breakthroughs to focus on this year.
One of the most effective ways to rekindle your relationship with your brother is to first forgive and move on. Maybe you guys fought about something when you were younger and the weight of the argument has been carried through the ages, so much in fact that neither of you even remember WHY you fought to begin with. Forgive him or forgive yourself and move on; remember that you are both different people now – appreciate each other for who you are today.
Communication is essential in every relationship. If you and your brother talk about keeping open communication, you will be able to resolve any conflicts or arguments and talk it out. My brother and I have always promised to be open about how we’re feeling about something no matter what. Can the truth hurt sometimes? Yes. But is it worth it to be honest about what’s going on in your head? Yes. Siblings are the most precious things in the world – value each other’s opinions.
Compromising is similar to keeping open communication – it’s extremely essential in every relationship, including the relationship with your brother. Regardless if he’s an older or younger brother, it’s important to meet in the middle about things in order to remain close.
Maybe you have a fond memory of playing on the swing set and your brother was there and you were both happy and enjoying each other’s company. If life got in the way and there have been a few rough patches over the years, try inviting him for lunch or meeting up for coffee and just reminisce on the good ol’ days!
Similarly, pick a fun activity and just go be kids again! Maybe both of you haven’t seen a movie in forever and that was something you guys used to do when you were kids. Maybe you loved walking down town and grabbing ice cream and just talking about life. Go do that. Focusing on an activity will create and establish a new friendly relationship that you will both benefit from.
Whether you were both super close growing up or not, be there for one another no matter what. Siblings don’t always need to be the BEST of friends but you are family and it’s important to be there for each other. Regardless if your brother messed up big time or made a huge mistake that you and your family have never forgiven him for, we’re all human and we all make mistakes. Maybe this is a time to really show him how much you care and it could mean more to him than you know.
In those moments when life throws curveballs, really listening can bridge the distance that time and arguments have erected. Embrace the imperfections that make your relationship unique. And if he's reaching out for help or simply needing a sounding board, give him the gift of your undivided attention. It costs nothing but could mean everything. Remember, compassion and empathy often speak louder than any words, rebuilding trust and kinship one loving action at a time.
It’s time to be a big girl and face your giants. Even if a fight has been carried through for years and it wasn’t even your fault, approach your brother and ask to resolve previous conflicts. Personally, I can’t keep anything from my brother because I’m very open with communication – if there is something that is bothering me or if he annoys me, I tell him straight away so I don’t pile up the conflicts. Unresolved conflicts that pile sky high are just a recipe for disaster.
It’s tempting to involve your friends or maybe even your parents, but what goes on between you and your brother should stay between you and your brother. Try not to involve other people in your conversation or your arguments because it can just be fuel to the fire. If things get out of hand or messy, make sure to contact an outside party to intervene; try, though, to settle things between you two first.
Ultimately, if you guys don’t pinpoint the cause of the fights you will not be able to be civil with each other. Find out what events or actions trigger the two of you to fight and rather than bicker or point fingers, celebrate the differences between you two and come to understand why you fight. If you can figure out the triggers you can prohibit future arguments.
An adorable quote I found on Pinterest says, “Sometimes being a sister is even better than being a princess.” If you can heal a broken relationship with your younger or older brother, you will be able to feel this special bond with your sibling again, which is a beautiful thing. How will you rekindle with your brother?