Have you ever been offered any controversial advice? As a rule, most life advice is pretty positive, and most of the time, a bit obvious. It’s the stuff that you can imagine your grandparents telling you, or a life mentor. It can feel a bit idealistic, though. I mean, sure, we all want to believe that one day a Prince will come, or that you’ll always be able to smile through the rain, but it’s not always totally realistic. That’s why, sometimes, controversial advice shouldn’t just be ignored. Here are the bits you should definitely consider taking…
1. Blood Isn’t Thicker than Water
Okay, biologically it is, but we’re talking philosophically for this piece of controversial advice. Your family doesn’t get a free pass to treat you however they like just because you are related. Your family isn’t everything. While you should try to get on with your family, and having them around will benefit you when you need a support network in the future, you don’t need them. Don’t let people get away with treating you badly just because of how they are related to you. Demand respect and decency.
2. Love Doesn’t Conquer All
We grow up surrounded by beliefs on what love is. It should be all encompassing, it’s hearts and flowers, it’s happily ever after. The reality, though, is that love doesn’t conquer everything. It’s not all Hallmark moments. Love is quiet, and modest, and sometimes, love is hard work. You’ll have to compromise. You have to put up with flaws, and arguments, and someone else's moods. Sometimes you’ll fall out of love, or you won’t find a compromise, or you’ll decide it’s too much effort. That’s okay, though, because you’ll find someone else to love. It’s not perfect, and that’s okay.
3. Forgiveness Isn’t Essential
In an ideal world, we’d all be able to live without feeling angry, or getting hurt. We wouldn’t ever need to think about forgiving people or moving on. This isn’t an ideal world, though, and there can be a lot of pressure to forgive people who have hurt you. It’s okay not to. It’s okay not to be able to forgive some things, or not to want to be friends with someone who has hurt you or let you down. As long as you are adult enough to deal with your emotions maturely, you don’t need to edit them.
4. Honesty Isn’t the Answer
Okay, so we all want to be honest. Nobody wants to lie, and nobody wants to be lied to. Reality states that it’ll happen, though. Sometimes, you will have to lie. You’ll learn to judge when you should tell the truth and when circumstances mean that you can’t, and you’ll learn to lie convincingly. That’s okay. Just try and keep it to a minimum, and always assess whether a lie is necessary. If you can tell the truth, do. If not, don’t feel bad. We all have to lie occasionally.
5. The Mirror Does Matter
Again, in that ideal world, what you look like wouldn’t have a bearing on anything. And it doesn’t, to a certain extent…you’ll be able to get a job and find a partner whatever you look like. You can travel and read and live. But there is no denying that life does favor looks at times. You’re unlikely to live your whole life without noticing that pretty people meet more people, or get picked for more opportunities, or find it easier to get help. To some extent, looks can be a benefit. Try to counter it by remembering that personality is more important, and not judging people based on what they look like.
6. You Can Walk
Sometimes, you need to exit. Whether it’s a terrible job or a bad relationship, you just have to quit. As long as you can say that you honestly gave it your best shot and you had no other options, it’s okay. It’s okay to fail, and it’s okay to change your mind, and it’s okay to stop doing something if you stop enjoying it or aren’t very good at it. Make a backup plan, give it a shot, and walk. You’ll be happier, and life is too long to be unhappy.
7. Excuses Don’t Excuse Things
This is controversial advice because it’s so often ignored. I mean, what is the point in an excuse if it doesn’t excuse you? Thing is, it doesn’t. We’re all adults. We’re all responsible for our own actions, and an excuse is just that. It’s a way of opting out of responsibility, of avoiding blame. Don’t use negative experiences as a way of justifying being a bad person, or blame someone else for decisions that you made. Own everything that you do.
Be honest, none of these pieces of controversial advice came as a shock, did they? But they are the opposite of what we’re constantly told, and it can be difficult to pay attention to them for that reason. So, step up. Take these pieces of controversial advice and apply them to your life today. You’ll be glad you did.