9 Ways to Recognize Manipulation and Avoid It ...

By Lezlie

9 Ways to Recognize Manipulation and Avoid It ...

It took me a really long time before I understood the different ways to recognize manipulation. I have always had difficult people in my life, and I'm sure you ladies have also. But I didn't understand that I was being manipulated. I just knew that I always seemed to walk away from those particular people feeling awful about myself and second guessing myself constantly. People manipulate in order to get what they want from others and there are many ways they can do this. This list is just a start in ways to recognize manipulation, and I'm sure a light bulb or two will go off for you as it did for me.

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1

Flattery

Flattery Believe it or not, flattery is a common technique that manipulators use. We all love to receive compliments if they are genuine, but have you noticed some people cross the line to flattery in your life? Flattery is a form of seduction and is used to get you to lower your defenses and surrender your trust and loyalty. If your weakness is attention, they will use flattery to their advantage when speaking to you. The flattery can range from praising your appearance and talent, or simply by affirming that you are valued and important. While these comments may be true, a manipulator doesn't necessarily believe them; they use them on everyone, making flattery one of the subtlest ways to recognize manipulation.

UPD:

Manipulation is a form of psychological manipulation used by one person to control, influence, or exploit another. It is often used to gain power and control over another person, and can be done in a variety of ways.

One of the most common techniques used by manipulators is flattery. Flattery is a form of seduction, used to lower someone's defenses and make them more trusting and loyal. Manipulators often use compliments to make their targets feel special and important, even if the compliments are insincere.

Another common form of manipulation is guilt-tripping. Manipulators use guilt to control their victims by making them feel guilty for not doing something or for causing pain. Guilt-tripping can be done in a variety of ways such as making threats, blaming the victim for their own problems, or by constantly reminding the victim of past failures.

Manipulators also use fear tactics to control their victims. Fear tactics can include threats of physical violence, emotional abuse, or financial ruin. They may also use fear of abandonment or the fear of being alone to control their victims.

2

Emotional Blackmail

Emotional Blackmail Blackmail is an obvious sign of manipulation. When someone blackmails you, they are overtly using fear to control you in order to make you do what they want. But what is emotional blackmail? Emotional blackmail is a technique used that makes you believe that if you do X, you are a great friend, daughter, girlfriend, etc. But if you do Y, you are unattractive, bad, dumb, etc.

3

Attacking Character

Attacking Character I once had someone I thought was a friend say I would be a horrible mother because my cat whined too much. This is an example of someone attacking your character. Manipulators will resort to just about anything to get what they want from you. At the time, this person wanted my pet out of my life and it wasn't until after the situation ended that I was able to recognize what happened. We all have weaknesses and strengths, this is what makes us human. But if you have someone in your life that attacks your character out of cruelty, this is a sign of manipulation.

4

Make You Uncomfortable

Make You Uncomfortable Have you ever been around someone that blurted out things (about you or others) just to change the emotional atmosphere? Maybe they say inappropriate things in general just to get a reaction, usually a negative one. If someone likes to make you and others feel uncomfortable just for fun, this is a sign of manipulation. While they may think they are being funny, they aren't. And you may find yourself caving in to do what they want just to get them to shut their mouth.

5

Not Straightforward

Not Straightforward This is really close to lying but slightly different. An example of someone not being straightforward would be if they are moving a box and say, "this box is so heavy." This comment could get you to jump up and move it for them, which is what they wanted in the first place. But instead of saying, "Can you help me move this box?" they were not straightforward about it. The problem with this form of manipulation is that the person can get you to do multiple things for them throughout the day and you don't even realize it. It's a form of being passive-aggressive in order to control you. I've learned to recognize this and when I hear a person doing this, I will flip it into the actual question.

UPD:

Manipulation is a form of communication that is used to gain control over someone or a situation. It is often used to get what a person wants without having to ask for it directly. Not being straightforward is one of the nine ways to recognize manipulation and avoid it.

In this example, a person is moving a box and says, "this box is so heavy." This comment is a way of getting someone to jump up and move the box for them, without having to ask for help directly. This is a form of passive-aggressive behavior that is used to control the situation.

It is important to recognize the signs of manipulation and avoid it. Other signs of manipulation include lying, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, playing the victim, and using emotional blackmail. All of these tactics are used to gain control over someone or a situation.

It is important to set boundaries and communicate clearly when dealing with manipulative people. It is important to be aware of the signs of manipulation and to be assertive when dealing with manipulative people. It is also important to take care of yourself and to seek professional help if needed.

Famous Quotes

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Albert Schweitzer
6

Lying

Lying I've always heard lying and manipulation go hand in hand and that's because they usually do. Someone who manipulates isn't being honest in their approach, whether they realize it or not. So the very root of manipulation is lying. If you notice that someone in your life is lying to you, pay attention, ladies. I can't tell you how many times I have noticed a person lied to me and let it slide because it wasn't a "big" lie. Well, as the relationship continued, you better believe those little lies turned into bigger lies and I found myself dealing with a pathological liar who made me feel like I was the "crazy one." You won't win with a liar.

7

Blame

Blame Ah yes, the blame game! Blame can manifest in many ways when you are dealing with manipulation, including denial, playing the victim and playing the servant. Have you dealt with someone who never wants to take credit for their part of the relationship? Maybe they are always the victim, allowing them to constantly blame others (including you). This is a form of manipulation because there is no accountability on their end and this can lead to you doing and saying things you normally wouldn't in a healthy relationship.

8

Guilt

Guilt Seriously, guilt can feel like a prison. And really, it is, ladies! If someone constantly uses guilt-trips on you, that isn't fair. It doesn't have to be overtly done either. I remember one evening I decided to meet some friends at an outdoor music concert. I was dating this guy (not my husband) who was a casebook manipulator and I found that I wasn't able to enjoy the concert. He wasn't calling me to nag about anything, so on the surface it would seem I had no reason to feel this way. But my thoughts were totally on him and what would he eat for dinner, I hope he's okay, etc. One of my friends had to check me and say, "Lezlie, he's a grown man, he can find something to eat." While that was true, I was living in a state of guilt and not able to enjoy my night out with friends. This is a personal example of how guilt can be used to manipulate.

9

Shame

Shame This example is really sad to me because we shouldn't be ashamed of who we are, ladies! But so often we are, because we believed someone's lies along the way that shamed us. Manipulators will often use shame to control you. An example of this is attacking a part of your body so you won't wear certain clothes. Another example is attacking your thoughts and opinions so you become afraid to speak. If there is someone in your life who does this, it's not a good sign.

I share these points with you out of love because I have had to deal with a few manipulators, unfortunately. The great news is that once you begin to recognize the signs, you can begin to take control back for yourself. Have you ever dealt with manipulation? I'd love to read your thoughts!

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So so true. I wish I had known this years ago. Thanks much!

Hi ladies!! I'm so happy this article was helpful! I can definitely relate to many of the things you shared. You're all so strong :). Cheers to healthy relationships .

This article is amazing. This probably sounds kind of dumb but I didn't realize that the reason I felt so alone and crazy, is that I was dealing with a lair. This has been very helpful. Thank you!

Unfortunately I know this all too well with family and friends! Thank you for the article!

Oh my goodness Lezlie this article makes me feel so much better like I did the right thing. I had an issue that dealt with number 8 with friends. They made me feel so guilty till I read this article. I feel the stress lifted off of me. This article couldn't have come at a better time.

#8 and #9 probably the worst experiences for me...this article has def helped my awareness and will try and pause next time someone makes me feel uncomfortable and ask myself where is this coming from...again especially with GUILT , thanx again!!

Omg this article has truly helped open my eyes. Thank you so much god this excellent piece as it truly made me analyze the toxic so called friend in my life who literally did every single thing on your list to me. I literally feel so naive and blind for not realizing this for so long. Being emotionally blackmailed, guilted, shamed and all the rest was literally like living in a prison for so long. I prayed to god for so long to remove this snake from my life for so long and now she's gone, I can see all the damage and pain she's inflicted. This article has been like therapy for me and for that I have to thank you a million times over as there should be more articles like this. These informative pieces truly provide a service to people. Thanks again!

Love it! I wish I have read this 2 years ago!!

letting your manipulator know you don't take it personal on not attaching to their ideas or projections about you is the deepest empowerment and most personal freedom . for you are then doing the opposite of what they are trying to control you , don't react , simply ignore it, don't attach and understand anyway it's Thier issue , not yours , for the best revenge is simply silence and giving it no life makes their projection nothing but a simple idea onto them and who they are for having it . don't attach to it , empower and be free ,make their thing no thing,it's that easy simply :)

Omg this was so helpful!!! And true. I have dealt with someone who fit all of these points!! It's really good to know that I'm not the only one who has experienced this kind of person, so thankyou

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